Our Marriage

Preface

Sue Pruett and her beloved husband are proof that treatment for alcohol and drug abuse works not only for alcoholics and addicts but just as much for spouses, family members, and friends. Substance abuse has existed since before recorded history, but only in the middle of the Twentieth Century, did the human race begin to understand the multi-dimensional ways it needed to be treated.

Sue Pruett is also living proof that the 12 Steps of Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and the loving people in those programs really work for healing. No matter how deep the disease has devastated a person or their family, there is hope, there is help, and there is health available.

This book will help you understand biological, social, psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of recovery. It will help you realize that just like any disease, alcoholism and other addictions are medical facts and not simply character weaknesses or lapses of self control.

You will be a better person, a more informed person, and a more sensitive person for reading this book. What is written in these pages I have seen repeatedly happen over the years at Valeo Mental Health Center in Topeka, Kansas, the Menninger Hospital and in my own clinic. What started out as a nightmare for Sue and her family ended in her husband’s recovery from alcohol, a new wisdom, heartfelt forgiveness, joy, understanding, and mental, spiritual, and physical health.

Dr. Ronald Lee Cobb D.Min MA M.Div HCVA CISD CADC II
Clinical Director, “Hope, Help, Health” Holton, Kansas

*  *  *

Introduction

Karl’s Story

I didn’t intend to be a drunk. That was never my goal, but somehow it became a byproduct of the addiction that started out innocently enough with casual social drinking, and then gradually over time took over my life. This disease nearly destroyed everything that I hold dear to my heart – my family and my career, and in fact, at one point almost took my very life.

No one can tell you about being a drunk better than someone who has walked that path. Only one who has made that journey truly knows the Hell of that addiction along with the pain that it brought to my family and to myself.

This is not a pretty story. It is a bit of a tragedy with years wasted and great pain. The good news is that there is a happy ending as out of the despair came great joy after I faced my demons and obtained sobriety. It was not an easy task, but a great battle for me. I stumbled many times, and many thought I would not reach my goal for I disappointed everyone who knew me at one time or another. I’m not proud of some of the things that happened, but this is my story, and this is my truth.

I’m telling my story now even though it is humbling to record my mistakes for everyone to view because I hope that it will help others stay the course and change the direction of their life.

Sue’s Story

I can promise you, I never intended to marry a drunk. In fact, I was a total innocent about the disease of alcoholism. Coupled with the fact that I was very gullible and always believed whatever anyone told me made me an easy mark for the lies Karl told me. As unbelievable as it sounds, I truly had no idea about his secret world of drinking for many years.

I was young and very naïve, but in looking back at that time in my life I’m embarrassed that I didn’t pick up on what was going on. In truth there were many things that helped Karl hide his addiction, and reasons why it was easy for me to turn a blind eye to problems. I had a definite role in the process, and it took me a long time to see the part that I played in his disease. That isn’t an easy thing to face about yourself, and it is hard to admit that truth to others.

Our story is not unique or new….in fact we learned that many people faced these challenges. We began our crusade to share our story when we saw the need to give others hope for a new beginning. Karl wanted others to know that life could be good again, and that relationships could be healed and become much better than they had ever been before. He felt like this message was lost in the lessons taught in rehab which seemed focused solely on sobriety. Many relationships and marriages end at that time, and we wanted people to know how wonderful life could be when free from addiction.

Although our story spans almost three decades, I can assure you that there is still much today that I do not understand about addiction. What I can tell you is that I have great respect for the power of this disease, and the pain it causes for everyone involved. It was a heartbreaking process at times, and one that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

However, I can assure you that there are great blessings at the end of the struggle. It was worth everything that we went through to have the great joy that awaited us on the other side of this journey.

This story isn’t a fairy tale, but it is real and true. We are telling it now because we hope others will be helped by the lessons we have learned.