Thoughts of a Man

 THE CHASE

        Try to remember all the things that I have told you thus far and we will attempt to put it all together for you at the end. Keep in mind that you may not agree with how a man thinks, but it does not mean that you do not have to understand how we think. Understanding gives you, the woman, power. And just because someone thinks differently than you does not make their thinking wrong. 
        It is like this: When a man sees some physical thing about a woman's body that attracts him, he locks in on that particular thing, in his mind, and that gives him the drive to chase her. It becomes like a drug to him. That attraction heightens his desire to really want to get to know her and to be with her. Keep in mind the number one goal, in his mind, is “sex.” Sex is the initial drive.
        Now, to you this may seem to be animality, but it is not. Eating is something that we do in response to a physical drive or stimulus but no one will deduce that that is animality. As humans, we all have drives and motives. There are things that motivate us to a goal. You do not get that sense of fulfillment or achievement if you do not obtain or reach that goal. This is true of a job or the pursuit of an education. You get a feeling of happiness and a sense of accomplishment when you reach that end, that goal. While you're in your pursuit that does not mean that you do not develop other things along the way. Some experiences make your goal have a different outcome, sometimes for the better or sometimes for the worse.
        Well, it is the same with relationships. The man's goal, initially, is sex, sex, sex, sex. That is his drive, but the woman has the power. Because the man's desire is to get to that end, she has the ability to help him to develop in so many ways to her benefit. As long as that goal for him is there, you being a woman can help him to develop his emotional qualities and his sensitivity. The emotional qualities that you need him to have in dealing with you, to please you.
        A person can have a goal to be a doctor, but he just can not go from having that desire, to collecting his diploma, and then begin to practice. This is where women mess up. The drive for the man is sex, but women give him the diploma (sex) before he has taken the course. Notice the developmental step that a woman should take to create or develop the perfect guy. Keep in mind, if a child wants candy, you can get him to clean his room and do so much more just to get the candy. If you give him the candy before he cleans his room he may clean the room but he also may not. If you give the guy sex before he is fitted for you, he may make you happy but he most likely will not; he has the candy.
        This is why I say that the woman has the power. Have you ever wondered why women always have the desire to “change a guy”? Men hate that, but women are programmed to want to do that. No man is automatically made for every woman. A man is made for woman in the fact that he is a man, but because of the different emotional makeup of each woman, a man has to be fitted for that particular woman. She has to “fit him” or “tailor him” to her emotional needs. Because the man's drive is sex, all men can be molded, or tailored, for the woman. It just depends on how much he wants her and how congenial he is to her method of doing so.
        In women, it is an innate quality that plays a role in her finding a good man to fit her needs. The thing is that desire to change and mold a guy does not work well on the guy after you give him the sex. The key is to mold him to what you need him to be in order for you to be happy, long-term, before you have sex with him. Once you have sex with him, you have sealed the deal as to how he can treats you, the things you know and accept about him, and the things that you do not know about him. After sex, it is sealed. Keep in mind, a man is still a man. He will let you mold him in the way that you need him to treat you, but he will not let you change him as a man. I am not saying that you have to allow him to disrespect you or allow him to not be loyal to you. I'm talking about the things that he likes to do that is not wrong in itself, but it is a manly thing for him to do like: playing basketball, hanging with the guys etc. You can not control or change the man in him. If your attempts to change him are perceived by him, he may feel emasculated and he will leave, eventually. A man has to feel like a man...