Too Many Skeletons Not Enough Closets

I LEARNED VERY YOUNG TO BE self-reliant and was able to amuse myself quite handily. I purposefully stayed away from other children in the neighborhood because I knew my mother's constant absence would be questioned. I was not quite sure how to respond to my friends, so playing alone was my only solution.

When I think about my childhood, the best memories I have are of the times I played alone. I never had a best friend to play with. I learned to play alone and savored the few times I was invited to play with other neigborhood kids. But in between, I would play alone with my imagination as my best friend.

Imagine playing an entire baseball game all by yourself. The game began with a pre-game show, while I pretended to be the announcer, Curt Gowdy. I interviewed the players on their strategies for bringing a win to their team. Only the most famous players could play on my team, star hitters and outfielders, Mickey Mantle and Roger Manris of the Yankees, or pitcher Don Drysdale of the Los Angeles Dodgers. As I hummed our national anthem in my head, I mentally prepared myself for the first game of the World Series. As a famous person, I was given the honor of throwing out the opening pitch for being responsible for the most important current event at the time. The crowd went wild! I would humbly thank the crowd for their applause, feeling the goose bumps all over my body, with a lump in my throat for being honored in such a special way. And now, on with the game!...

It's amazing how this particular event stayed with me all these years. I think about it quite frequently. My learning to play alone as a child made these memories impossible to forget.

In school, I became a good student, hoping that by doing well in school I could fly below the radar screen of my teachers, not wanting to field their questions about why my parents did not attend PTA meetings or other school functions on my behalf. I longed for a normal family life, one where my parents showed their love by giving me their time and attention.