THE THAN BOOK
The 1st 1,000 Colorful and Exotic Images and Newly Invented Expressions Suitable for Most Occasions
by
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583. SOCIETY. That's more harmful to society than teaching a porcupine physics.
7. SOCIETY. The tax collector was less welcome than a rattlesnake at a taffy pull.
165. MOOD. When the estate lawyer failed to land the business of the local dynasty, he couldn't have been more woeful than if he'd been a bloodhound who'd just been told by a paw reader that the sense of smell is not the same as ESP.
199. PHENOMENA. There's nothing more terrifying than the specter of a parrot listening to the transmission of a message sent in Morse Code and translating it.
409. MOOD. He's more frustrated than a chameleon on a polka-dotted sidewalk in New York City during rush hour on a Monday.
587. SOCIETY. The situation was graver than a skunk playing running back and fumbling the football on his team's one-yard line.
506. PHENOMENA. There's nothing more disruptive than the situation of an impatient auctioneer unable to auction off the parrot of a foul-mouthed owner for charity.
482. MOOD. He felt more abused than a hockey puck in a championship game.
229. SOCIETY. He's smarter than a rabbit reciting his Multiplication Table.
248. MOOD. He was more disoriented than a dalmatian in a foam rubber dice factory.
964. PHENOMENA. There's nothing more disruptive than a parrot who can't distinguish between the human voice and a ringing telephone.
714. PHILOSOPHY. Watching a political campaign is sometimes more terrifying than watching an alligator ride a lawn mower in a riding lawn mower derby.
479. MOOD. He's more conflicted than a Centaur at a women's equestrian club.
389. PHENOMENA. It was more terrifying than watching a Siamese cat shoot a crossbow.
338. MOOD. After the college student learned that he had passed the class, he was prouder than a turkey graduating with a PhD in aviation the day before Thanksgiving.
615. PHILOSOPHY. Voting for a politician is usually less productive than trying to open a lumberyard in the South Pole.
475. SOCIETY. That's more immoral than cloning a skunk.
681. MOOD. When the father loaned out his vintage Rolls Royce to his son, he was more nervous than the dummy of a ventriloquist who keeps a pet beaver.
737. MONEY. A dragon in the Ice Age made more money than a publicly traded energy stock today.
682. MOOD. When the doctor got a letter from a lawyer, he was more uncomfortable than the dummy of a ventriloquist who'd just taken out a large fire insurance policy on his home.
839. SOCIETY. The situation had more tension than a Barber giving a porcupine a shave.
607. PHILOSOPHY. Does an alligator cry more crocodile tears than a crocodile does?
695. PHENOMENA. He studied Existentialism more than an earthworm did after his newly decorated home got hit by an earthquake.
720. MONEY. The investor was richer than an oyster with a pearl who'd been cloned several times.
821. PHENOMENA. The Professor was more disturbed than a ventriloquist performing with a psychic dummy.
591. PHILOSOPHY. A crocodile's tears are no more visible than a crocodile's crocodile tears.
840. SOCIETY. The situation was more hopeless than a skunk and a porcupine standing between the Earps and the Clantons just before, during, and after the shooting started and stopped at the OK Corral.
806. PHENOMENA. That's stranger than a marine biologist washing a sponge with a sponge.
800. PHENOMENA. Benjamin Franklin was more inventive than a person using the headlights on his car so he could see to mow his lawn at midnight.
802. PHENOMENA. He did a greater service to mankind than curing a porcupine of the hiccups.
803. MOOD. He was more offended than a skunk ordered to leave a perfume manufacturers convention.
536. PHILOSOPHY. To discover a solution to a problem sometimes has more winds and curves than an ampersand between two S's.
797. PHENOMENA. The situation was more disruptive than a parrot in the press box at a horse derby in 1937.
792. SOCIETY. There's no greater social affront than to give a male skunk a male enhancement drug.
779. MOOD. She's angrier than a Mad Scientist's monster during a power surge.
775. SOCIETY. After the defendant was arraigned, he looked guiltier than a porcupine next to a flat tire.
774. PHENOMENA. The situation was stranger than a porcupine attending an international symposium on acupuncture.
756. SOCIETY. There's nothing more disruptive to a peaceful countryside than a blue jay.
757. SOCIETY. There's no greater vendetta than that of a farming community against a blue jay.
758. SOCIETY. There's no more horrible manipulation of Nature than to clone a blue jay.
656. PHILOSOPHY. An elastic waistband has healed more bruised egos than bananas have been bruised.
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About the Book
THE THAN BOOK: The 1st 1,000 Colorful and Exotic Images and Newly Invented Expressions Suitable for Most Occasions, by Neigh Darkhorse, offers a fresh look at the use of the English Language. Its 1,000 colorful, exotic, eclectic, and new entries of wit, humor, and quirkiness can be enjoyed by professors, high school teachers, public speakers, communicators of most types, members of community or professional organizations, and all individuals engaged either in the GIFT OF GAB or in the REWARD OF READING. Its unique linguistic DNA can be examined and appreciated by high school students, graduating high school seniors, college students, and especially college students majoring in Drama, Journalism, Communications, or English as it is light, fun, easy reading that can become habit-forming. It is great for reading between semesters. It is also a great road companion. With the exception of occasional capitalization, or the lack thereof, that is done for effect, the grammar and sentence structure are not bad. There are approximately 50 sentences out of 1,000 that are between 30 and 60 words in length. There is also some useful vocabulary. This book is educational, and possibly surprisingly so. This creative gem makes a great gift and conversation piece . It is suitable for readers, communicators, and conversationalists ages 16 to 116. It makes a great gift. It also makes a great gift. Did I mention that it makes a great gift? Well, it does, but it is also good to own. You'll be happier than a covey of quail during hunting season that's just learned that the most relentless bird dog in the vicinity came down with a head cold two days ago due to overexertion while hunting a covey of quail in the rain.
About the Author
Neigh Darkhorse is a writer of nonfiction who also aspires to become a writer of fiction. His education includes a Bachelor of Arts in English as well as a Juris Doctorate. In the past he has taught school and performed various manual labor jobs. Although Neigh holds a law degree and passed the Bar Exam, he has chosen to pursue a career as a writer. Neigh Darkhorse now resides in North Carolina where he writes full-time.