Two Jamaican Vampires in New York

    "Mi sorry, Benji, mi sorry, but mi think a likkle ole lady is being robbed down there or something."

    "WHAT?! WHAT YUH SEH?! LIKKLE OLD LADY?! THIS TIME A NIGHT?! But she right to be getting robbed to raatid. And I should just fly go down there and go help rob her raatid too."

    "Oh, come on, Benji. Don't talk like that man. Wi have to go down there and go help her out quickly...before she happen to get hurt or something. She could have just been coming home from work...when that ole vulture attack her."

    "Well I don't care if she was coming home from work, playing golf or sky-diving. SHE NOH BELONG OUT HERE THIS LATE!"

    The lady was being robbed by a man who weighed over four hundred pounds, and Rufus looked down again, just in time to see him pull a long ten inch knife out from his waist.

    "OH, MY LORD! LAWD A GAD! AND LORD HAVE MERCY PON MI SOUL!" he cried out suddenly.

    "HEY! HEY! WH'APPEN TO YUH NOW?!" Benji asked. "YUH HAVING A BAT-ATTACK AGAIN OR SOMETHING, AND THAT'S WHY YUH EYES DEM OPEN-UP SO WIDE ALL OF A SUDDEN?!"

    "No Benji, it's not that this time at all mi friend. LISTEN! THE WOMAN REALLY INNA TROUBLE FI TRUE! THE BWOY JUST PULL OUT A LONG OLE KITCHEN KNIFE OUTTA HIM WAIST AS IF HIM IS ABOUT TO CUT HER UP!"

    "BUT WAIT! HIM THINK HIM IS CROCODILE DUNDEE! HIM WANT TO CUT HER UP TO MEK BOOTS OUTTA HER OR SOMETHING!"

    "Oh, come on, Benji. It's no time to be joking around man. Wi have to do something about this situation, FAST, before she really happen to get hurt."