Through One's Eyes

   Naivety is a beautiful thing, but it has its place too. To be so inexperienced, so uninformed has a limitation on using good common sense. I had put myself in many situations where I didn’t speak up for myself, leaving me prone and pliable, to be used and abused by those who wanted to. It did not take long before a deep void was developing, I was plummeting into it. My surroundings became distorted visions. I did not know me. I did not recognise my own refl ection in the mirror. In my thoughts I was still unknowing of all that had happened. Even though I suppose I was aware of the situations, to me, they were unbelievable. Mindboggling, areas of life, of which were so confusing. So, I chose not to accept the events as true. I would be completely fl ustered when, an associate of mine would speak of an event.

   Somewhere inside me, I had some recollection. Images would fl ash in front of me, as if I was the onlooker, rather than the victim. But not enough to make complete sense of what my associate would say. On the other hand, it would be enough for me to realise that the accounts were somewhat true. But, they were totally unacceptable and to a great extent much unwanted. Hence, my response to the unneeded recap would not be very nice. Bristling with anger and undeniable discumfiture, my head would throb as I got rid of the orator. With the source of information gone, I would get high. As time proceeded, my acquaintances learned to keep quiet of my happenings. After all, it wasn’t as if they too didn’t receive such things themselves. Some did not mind speaking and some did. I had kept as many as possible boxed up within me. An iron clad box that I would keep chained and bolted tight, my very secret ‘Pandora’s Box’.