I gazed out the window of the tour bus and watched as we drove through the streets of Nanchang. The traffic was crazy. Pedestrians, bikes, and cars all intertwined, fighting for position, and it’s amazing there aren’t more accidents. It looked like a colony of worker ants scurrying back and forth at super-speed, going fast, but going nowhere. I watched in amazement as cars and pedestrians, pedestrians and bikes, motorbikes and cars just weaved in and out. No one seemed to be in a panic; it just seemed like another day at the office. I watched as we passed a Kentucky Fried Chicken, a McDonald’s, and, to my surprise, a Wal-Mart.
The bus arrived and parked on a side street next to the Civil Affairs office. The ride was over; time to dismount! We began to pile out of the bus. It seemed like we were going forward in slow motion, like we were all in a dream-like state. I remember the small entrance, and that we had to go up the elevator in groups because the elevators were so small. Like most places that we visited in China, air-conditioning was a rarity, and the Civil Affairs building was no exception. The air was stagnant and it was very hot. I was wearing a T-shirt, shorts, and sandals, and I could tell I was hot because the sweat was dripping down my face and legs; however, I was barely aware of the discomfort.
The elevator doors slid open and I remember walking into a large room. I can’t remember hearing anything, even though I could see babies screaming, mouths wide open, but no sound. I looked at Lorraine and saw that she was searching the room for Samantha. We knew we couldn’t approach the babies, but we were dying just to see her face. I continued my search, and it seemed that as I became more frantic and desperate, the noise began to filter through, and it continued until all I could hear was screaming. Lorraine would look at me and shake her head as if to say, “I can’t find her.” Other families were tripping over us and each other, all looking for a daughter they knew only from a picture. I passed Geoff and Melody several times, and we tried to comfort each other by joking about the screaming children—“That’s probably my daughter screaming her head off”—and then moving on as we continued the search.
Lorraine thought she had spotted Samantha, but it was wishful thinking. This baby sat by herself and was all smiles. This was not to be our fate!
