Discover The Roots To Your Anger
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Many people have found that anger can be a difficult emotion to manage. People often confuse anger with aggression. Aggressive behaviour is intended to cause harm to another person or property. This type of behaviour includes verbal threats or acts of physical abuse. Anger is an emotion that does not always lead to aggression. Therefore a person can still be angry without acting aggressively.
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. A degree of anger as stated is necessary to our survival. However, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that annoys or irritates us. We need to find a balance between our angry feelings and finding practical ways of processing and managing these feelings in a constructive way.
Some people allow their anger to settle into lifelong resentments that have the potential to ultimately destroy or rob them of leading a successful life. Anger and lingering resentments can trap a person in a cycle of negative thinking, self justification, shame and guilt.
Shame is actually the fear of what others will think of us if they ever find out what has happened to us or if they find out how we have reacted in certain situations. Guilt, on the other hand, is how we feel about ourselves as a result of violating our own internal standards that we have set for ourselves.
When we become excessively angry or overreact in situations, we can be left feeling guilty, frustrated or shameful. If you can’t get on with people as a result of an angry and defensive outlook, then it becomes difficult to get on with ‘life’ itself.
Some of the greatest pleasures in life involve relationships with other people. People help us experience the highs and lows of life. Learning anger management skills and relationship skills is a choice that anyone can make. Most people would agree that they want to be liked and accepted for who they are.
If a person is holding on to deep-seated anger and lingering resentments it can be very difficult for others to tolerate and accept them. Generally people that are successful in relationships share some common characteristics, such as having a measure of compassion towards others, being able to show respect and being able to manage difficult emotions.
Good interpersonal relationships include the ability to manage anger successfully. It is evident that improving relationships with others starts with oneself. One of the keys to making changes is in accepting that you need to modify certain parts of yourself. One of the most important changes is in improving your own set of emotional management skills.
We tend to see others as we see ‘ourselves’ and we often dislike in others what we dislike in ‘ourselves.’ This book will help you make the links between anger and behaviour, citing practical ways to overcome these issues.
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About the Book
Anger is one of our most dynamic and forceful emotions moving us very powerfully. Emotions are not good or bad; they are simply part of life. What we choose to do with these emotions indicates whether they become positive or negative.
If angry feelings are suppressed they may never become recognized or named. This could lead to mental health problems. Anger turned inwards is the cause of many relationship problems. Anger may trigger anxiety. Anxiety may in turn produce anger. Just because you are angry does not necessarily imply that you have a problem.
Anger is after all, part of a natural response that aids in our survival and helps us to protect others. Anger, can therefore give one the courage to protect our loved ones; it may warn others not to take advantage of us and in some instances confirm our own individuality.
Anger can also be a healthy emotion, as it can lead us to take appropriate action. It can also help us to ‘make right the wrongs’ in our lives and to face up to our personal issues. Facing up to your anger and wanting to make changes, leads to the contribution of positive self-esteem and enhanced feelings of self-worth.
Anger does not always lead to devastating circumstances. However, left untreated, it can lead to psychological problems or can actually ‘exacerbate’ existing ones. As medical intervention can be an effective antidote for infectious diseases, similarly applying anger management strategies can be an effective antidote to dysfunctional anger and recurring resentments. Serious physical wounds need serious medicine and require the skill of a physician to detect the source of the problem. Serious deep-rooted anger may also require the attention and skill of a health care professional.
About the Author
Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University
Mark is a London based Specialist Clinical Psychologist, licensed with two Professional Bodies, the South African Health Council Professional Board and the British Psychological Society. Mark presents keynote addresses, and conducts workshops with educators and people in business. Mark completed Post Graduate research at the Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University. He has completed further research in the UK, where he was awared Chartered Status with the British Psychological Society and Health Professions council.
He provides psychological insets for organizations and runs anger management groups and workshops across South Africa, United Kingdom and Europe. Mark’s area of special interest is in group work, where he has successfully run Anger Management Groups, Self-Esteem Groups, Stress-Management Groups, and Depression-Support Groups both within a clinical and industrial environment.
After years of clinical multidisciplinary reflection and an extensive review of his practical work, Mark has completed this life skills anger management-working book to complement the seven-week course he offers. This book can be used as part of a course or for training others to help people with anger related issues.
Mark can be reached by email: markchapman_psy@yahoo.com
Corporate and Individual Anger Management Clinics
Available upon request