Tangled Webs

Lexi sat in her dark garage with the car’s engine idling as she contemplated the five-minute drive to Adrian’s house. She had been contemplating for fifteen minutes. During that time, she reflected on a recent conversation with her best friend Melanie, about how men are dogs and only tended to want sex or a substitute mom. Sometimes, they even wanted both. The accolades were heaped on her about how her boyfriend was so nice, handsome and had a great job. She flashed a fake smile and let them pile it on, even though she felt weighed down by the burden of truth behind the lie that she lived. The conversation had bothered her all day long until she forced herself to stop thinking about it and to sleep. She wanted her mind to be clear for their scheduled rendezvous later this evening. Two hours later, when the phone rang, she felt refreshed. It was Adrian calling. When she heard his voice, it only managed to grate her raw nerves, and the weight in her heart seemed to grow heavier with each word. Hey, baby, what’s up? I hope you weren’t sleeping, because you know we have dinner reservations in an hour and a half. I’m sorry, she began trying in a failed attempt to draw from a happier source within her. “I had such a headache and Don’t …don’t even pull that one! I know it’s going to take you damned near all of two hours to get ready. There’s no need in trying to call and reschedule the reservations, it’s Friday and I already know they’re crowded. You know, sometimes I get the impression that you don’t give a damn about how I feel or what I want. She hated when he interrupted her, and she hated it even more when he was rude. Today was the wrong day to do this, she thought. As her focus was drawn back to the phone, she realized that he’d hung up on her and she was left alone with the recorded voice of the operator telling her to hang up and try her call again. Without even a second thought, she went to her dresser and grabbed a few pieces of clothing and crammed them into a duffle bag. She quickly dressed and made a mad dash to her car. She had every intention of going to Adrian’s house and giving him the best night of make-up sex that he’d ever had. She even considered doing that oral thing he’d been trying to get her interested in for so long. Yes, tonight was definitely the night. When she got into the car, the heaviness had begun to smother her as she fought to stay on task. She rolled the windows down slightly on her old Jeep Cherokee and breathed in the musky smell of her closed garage. He’s not all that bad, she said out loud. He has never raised his hands to me and, apparently, he cares for me. She thought that maybe if she said it out loud, she’d begin to believe it herself. She repeated the statements and, unconsciously, started the car. As she continued to repeat what was slowly becoming a mantra-like chant, she did begin to feel a little less burdened, and could actually imagine herself going through with her plan to salvage what her friend Melanie had called a good relationship. If Melanie said it, then it must be true. Wasn’t it? Boy isn’t that a good question, she thought. Her mind began to drift again. It wasn’t long before she thought she was hearing voices outside the garage door. Adrian? It couldn’t be. Had he said he was coming over to pick her up? I can just imagine how mad he must be if he came here. That’s so unlike him, she thought. Open the door, Lexi! I know you’re in there! he yelled. I’m bringing your shit! Oh, no. I bet my neighbors are out in their yards watching this scene. I’d better do something to quiet him. She managed to open the car door when the heaviness came back with a vengeance. Something was different this time; it felt more physical than mental. It was hard for her to breathe, her lungs ached and burned. There was smoke all around from the exhaust. What’s wrong with me? Am I having an anxiety attack? Then, it hit her like a ton of bricks: carbon monoxide poisoning! The darkness engulfed her as she heard her lungs scream for air, while the car sang its song of death in her ears. Her last thought was imagining Adrian complaining about her being forgetful. She should’ve opened the garage door. Lexi opened her eyes slowly and glanced around at the fluffy white clouds that surrounded her. Happiness was the first emotion she felt as she assumed she hadn’t gone to hell. But, quickly, that was replaced with regretful feelings about being dead. She hadn’t wanted to go that way, and she was too young to die. She began to imagine how sad her parents must have been and it made her feel sad, too. The tears that ran down the side of her face made a soft tickle. She wiped at them and felt the beginnings of a new heaviness in her mind.