A Childhood Memory

It is so hard to start trying to put it all together.  As a child at the age of five years old is when I remember it started to go bad.  Before that, it’s hard to remember anything.  When you lose a mom or dad, it’s hard to understand, no matter who you are.  It was a cold winter night in February when Mom came home in a taxicab with food.  She said, “I will be back” but she never returned.  She knew she was gone for good.  How can you say good-bye?

All I knew was that Mom was gone; Dad was at work but soon came home and found that Mom was gone.  I never understood why or whatever happened that would make Mom leave her children and start another life with someone else, another man.  I never knew that my dad was “bad.”  I can remember how Mom would cut him with a knife when he came home drunk.  I can remember he would always cry.

Daddy loved Mom so much.  When my sister told him Mom had gone away, he went looking for her, but came home the next day without her.  We knew that she was not coming home.  She didn’t want Dad or us.  She wanted to start her new life with her new man and no children.  No one got any sleep, and finally it was morning.  My baby brother was really little and didn’t understand what was happening.  Daddy showered and dressed to go out again.  My sister made sure we all had something to eat.  She was like a mom, not a big sister.  We were all scared.  Daddy didn’t stop looking for Mom.  When he heard she was somewhere, he would go look, only to find that she had been there and gone.  After a week, he began to think Mom was not going to return home. 

Dad came home and called his mom and asked if she would come and stay with us until he could figure out what to do.  Three days later, Grandmother arrived.  She was a great lady.  I had never seen her before in my life.  The first thing she did was hug Daddy and all of us.  Then she cleaned us all up and cooked us some good food.  We were so glad to see her.  She stayed with us for one week.  Daddy would go to work and then go look for Mom.  But again, no luck.  Grandmother told Dad that she couldn’t stay any longer; she had to go home.  He asked her if she could take us with her.  That way he could get himself together.  She told him, “I need to call your dad and see what he says.”

Granddad told her, “It’s up to you. Do you think you should do this?” 

She told him, “Yes.  These are our grandchildren.”  Grandmother told Dad that she would take us for a little while.  She told him, “You know I am not young.  I have raised all of you boys. And it was hard because your dad and I didn’t have that much.  And I don’t know if I will be able to raise these children.  I am getting old, and so is your dad, but I will try.  God will give me the strength to do this.”
            Grandmother began to get our clothes together.  She called the train station to see what time we could get a train out of Georgia and how much it would cost for all of us to go on the train to Mississippi.  Grandmother washed our hair.  We girls had long hair.  There were three girls and two boys.  She had a hard time, but she finished the girls and helped us dress.  After that, my brothers were not hard for her to assist.  That night at 7:00 pm, Daddy drove us to the train station.  He told us all that he loved us and to do what Grandmother said to do.  It was time to get on the train out of Georgia.  We were all on it and crying because we had to leave Daddy.  We had never been on a train before.  But it was fun.