Lawyer, Liar, Pants on Fire
by
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Chapter One
What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
“Are you calling me a liar? No junior officer calls a Marine major a liar.” The major turned to face the judge. “Can she ask me that, your honor?” Major Turner was clipped and pressed. He sat ramrod straight on the witness stand and held his chest out so that his three rows of service and combat ribbons were visible below his pistol and rifle Expert medals. “She's trying to make me look like a fool. I refuse to answer that impertinent question.”
“Actually, Major, that's Lieutenant Goodman’s job. Please answer her question,” the judge instructed.
“I will not, Sir.”
“Then I will not consider your testimony. You may step down.”
The major's face turned purple and he sputtered as he left the stand, slamming through the gate between counsel tables and the gallery, and exited the courtroom. I stomped PFC Brown's foot to wipe the smirk off his face and let out a long sigh.
It was my first day in court and things were going great.
I had arrived on a Thursday at my first duty station, the Naval Legal Service Office, Subic Bay, the Philippines. It was now Wednesday of the following week. I had been on active duty for five months and practicing like a real lawyer for one week. I joined the Navy while I was still in law school. When the Navy recruiter came on campus in the middle of my second year and gave a pitch about practicing law in exotic foreign ports I signed up immediately so I didn’t have to spend my third year going through the stress and humiliation of job hunting. Plus the Navy got me out of Philadelphia.
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About the Book
Rachael Goodman thought she had life pretty well figured out after she finished law school, took a job as a Navy lawyer and became a JAG lieutenant, junior grade. Now she’s not so sure as she goes to her first duty station in the Philippines and learns the truth behind the recruiting pitch “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.”
While keeping the world safe for democracy, Rachel is finding out first hand that sailors and Marines have a well-deserved reputation. But while she’s keeping the world safe, who’s going to keep her safe? As one of the few single American women on a base with lots of sailors and Marines a very long way from home, she’s getting lots of attention. And the new love of her life, a Navy SEAL named BB, is giving her a quick education in romance and military life.
There's lots of adventure as Rachael navigates here way through courtrooms, barrooms and the world, finds out about the Navy, Navy SEALS, San Miguel beer, and gains perspective into affairs of the heart. Rachael has lots of growing up to do and lots of new experiences are in store. If only she can survive without becoming just another lawyer joke!
About the Author
Elissa Wellikson spent 27 years practicing law, first in the Navy and then in corporate America in Philadelphia and Silicon Valley. Lawyer, Liar, Pants on Fire is her first novel and is drawn from her experiences as a Navy JAG officer in the Philippines. She has accumulated the definitive collection of two-line lawyer jokes. She lives with her husband in Los Altos, California.