Who Goes to the Door and Then What
by
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One of the greatest risks in the notification process is that the person hearing the bad news will experience not only the shock of his or her loved one’s death or injury but also be further traumatized by the carelessness of a poorly prepared notification. A badly conducted notification, or one that is cold, thoughtless or delivered in an unsympathetic manner, can inflict needless suffering on the loved ones and lead to negative feelings toward you and your organization.
The need for a prompt notification is more pressing today because of the speed with which the media receive information and report an incident. A call to outside emergency services is a call to the media. Since reporters are equipped with radios that monitor emergency services channels, they may be reporting the death or injury on radio and TV before formal notification can take place.
Reporters, producers, city desk editors and assignment editors are not always sensitive. They do not always follow their own usual procedures and wait for notification of the family to take place. Consequently, families may have already heard something about the incident. It has been on radio or TV, or a friend has seen a report and phoned them. In that instance, the family will be frantically seeking more information.
How and where to find the right people is an important initial aspect of the notification process. To choose the right person or persons, look inside the organization first. Insiders know the organization’s culture and values and in some circumstances they know the person who has died, been seriously injured or is missing. They can usually best reflect the institutions’ concern for the family being notified.
In our experience, we have found that the most effective way to find the right people is to first ask for volunteers from your organization. Most volunteers come forward because they would want their families to be treated with care and compassion if they were to die, be seriously injured or went missing. Others come forward because the, or on of their relatives, have experienced a bad notification. We’ve found that volunteers for this task come from all levels and all corners of the organization.
Choosing and speaking the appropriate words is a close second in importance to choosing and training the right people. The result of not knowing what to say, how to say it and where to say it can lead to trouble for both the notification team and the family: Confusion, lack of clarity, bewilderment and fright all contribute to potential problems It is a bad way to start.
It is also important that notifiers use the person’s name. Do not refer to the person as “the deceased” or “the victim.” Neither should we use the words “the body” or “the fatality.” These words are dehumanizing. Bill is a person. To his family, Bill is Bill, whether he is dead or alive.
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About the Book
This book is the first and only comprehensive work designed and written for organizations that may face the daunting task of notifying and supporting families if a person dies, is seriously injured or is missing. The book is highly useful for companies, government agencies, police and fire departments, schools and universities, hospitals, clergy, social workers and even as a supplement for military service notification teams.
In their research, the authors found that most organizations are ill-prepared to competently and compassionately carry out this sad but important responsibility. Most people don’t like to talk about the subject. That’s natural and understandable. What is neither understandable nor acceptable is an organization ignoring or paying little attention to the potential of such an event. How bad news is delivered and received can have a deep and enduring impact on both the organization’s messenger, the organization itself and the loved ones. The consequences can be devastating or can serve as the beginning of a healthy grieving process.
This book is full of useful tools and tips that will help your organization and its people prepare for a potential event, which in turn will make notification less difficult, expedite the notification process, reduce anxiety and stress, prepare for the unexpected, minimize hurtful and costly mistakes and protect an organization’s reputation.
We encourage you to take advantage of the wealth of information in this book so that if and when the time comes, you and your organization can handle this tough duty skillfully and with care.
About the Author
Co-authors Katie Reese and Tim Conner are sister and brother who have pooled their personal and professional experiences to collaborate on this work. They come from different professional backgrounds, but share the same concerns and philosophical beliefs about this issue.
Katie is a clinical social worker with experience in the fields of mental health, home health and hospice care. She has also been an outspoken advocate for individuals with mental illness. Before the Americans for Disability Act was passed, she worked hard to break down the employment barriers that prevented people with mental illness from securing meaningful work. Today, as a home health social worker she secures resources for the elderly and the physically disabled. As a former hospice social worker, she faced the challenge of providing emotional support to patients and families dealing with the harsh reality of a terminal illness. She holds a BA from Southwestern College and an MSW from the University of Kansas.
Tim is a veteran crisis and media communications consultant for several multi-national companies and government agencies. He has spent his entire adult life in communications, working in television and radio news, public relations, advertising and consulting. He also served as a public affairs officer while he was a Marine Corps fighter pilot. Tim was on the two Tylenol poisoning crisis response teams and travels the world assisting organizations in preparing for potential crises. He served as Vice President George Bush’s coach in his historic television debate with Geraldine Ferraro. Tim is president of The Conner Group, a media and crisis communications consulting company. He holds a BA from Coe College and an MS from Syracuse University.