Surviving the Struggle

There were times I sat in church and prayed that my pastor would call my husband and me out to receive a body ministry offering. This was an offering that my Pastor would sometimes collect and give to a member in need. It never happened for us. I waited to see if God would lay us on someone’s heart during service to sow a seed into our lives, but it never happened. God was determined to get the glory out of our situation. My husband and I went on a two-week fast from television and left nothing on but worship music. We satiated our home with the presence of God. We consumed ourselves with praying and worshiping God. We needed a breakthrough and our motto was “BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.”  

The Bible declares, “The Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence and the violent taketh by force" (Mathew 1:12 KJV). We have to take back what the devil has stolen from us. As people of God, we have to be willing to stand toe to toe with the devil, looking him straight in the face, declaring the Word of God. Jesus responded to the temptation of the devil by saying to him, “It is written" (Matthew 4:7 KJV).   He came against the enemy with the Word of God. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God" (John 1:1 KJV).

Are you willing to take back your marriage, your relationships, your children, your ministry, your finances? Are you willing to go into the enemy’s camp and take what rightfully belongs to you? This is the time that you put up or shut up. Hard times separate the men from the boys and the women from the little girls. People see who you really are by your response to trouble. 

Yes, I must admit that this was a very, very difficult time for my family. I wanted God to make it end, but He didn’t. I wanted Him to snatch us out, but He didn’t. We received word after word from our spiritual father, guest pastors, prophets, and evangelists who came to our church. Nothing changed!

I had yard sale after yard sale, selling whatever I could to make enough money to keep our mortgage paid. I remember sitting on the sofa one day after having my son Malachi. My husband walked in from work and I was rolling coins. My baby needed diapers and milk, and I wasn’t going to sit around and put all of the responsibility on my husband to make things better. As women, we must realize that we are our husbands' helpmeets.  Proverbs 31 talks about the virtuous woman. She didn’t sit around waiting on her husband to make things happen. She made fine linen and sold it for a profit; she got up early in the morning to provide food for her family. This woman had financial wisdom. The Bible says, “She considereth a field and buyeth it” (Proverbs 31:16 KJV). She didn’t sit around waiting for a handout; she went out and made it happen. The scripture also says, “She opened her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness was in her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26 KJV).

This “sista” had it going on. It is easy to sit around moping, complaining, and blaming someone else for your struggle; but the Word of God says, faith without works is dead (James 2:26 KJV)! If it meant rolling coins, selling my furniture and clothes, or whatever, I would do whatever I had to do. I still remember the look on my husband’s face as he watched me roll coins. I saw the disappointment, the look of failure and defeat in his eyes. I knew he felt he was letting his family down. I had to make sure he understood that I knew that our situation was only temporary. I had to reassure him that I understood we were in the middle of our test and it was up to us how we responded.

Our attitude towards our trial determines the length and depth of the trial. God could very well allow us to go through something simple and bring us right out when He sees that our faith is strong and we refuse to be defeated. My God is a sovereign God. He will do what He wants, when He wants, and how He wants to do it. One thing is for sure, God will always have a ram in the bush. We have to look under every rock and behind every door for the way of escape. Don’t get caught up in how God moves in someone else’s situation; just know that what God has for you is for you.

            During the course of about one year, I struggled with forgiving those whom I felt had totally turned their backs on us. We all attended the same church and this made it very difficult for me. Sitting in service, hearing the Word of God, and knowing in my spirit that God was moving on our behalf, I still harbored unforgiveness. I didn’t want to look at those people in church. I didn’t want to have conversations with them nor be in their presence. Constantly, I prayed for God to take that spirit out of my heart.

Don’t fool yourselves; you will not receive anything from God as long as you harbor unforgiveness.