My Life As A Testimony
by
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When I was 25 years old, I was married to my first husband who was ten years older. I thought he was the best thing since pockets. He courted me for six months before I dated him. We dated over a year before we got married and I thought I knew him. He was probably the biggest drug dealer in my state, but I did not know it until later.
Since my husband spent so much time away from home, I decided to venture out. He became insanely jealous thinking I was doing what he was, that is cheating. When I came home, he would already be in the house waiting for me and as soon as I come in, he would punch me in the face, bloodying my nose. I changed the locks. Then, he would hide in the bushes and jump out as I approach the door and start beating me. I ran and he caught me, dragging me, three blocks back to the house, still beating me. As I tried to run, I screamed and knocked on several neighbors’ doors for help, but no one would help me, as they did not want to get involved.
My face was covered in blood, my body was badly scuffed, and my clothes were torn from my body. When he got me home, he continued to punch me in the face and I was knocked unconscious.
When I came to, he dropped me off at the hospital. I had a broken ankle, a broken thumb, black eyes, and scrapes and bruises all over my body. There was a counselor and a police officer present. The counselor advised me to leave my husband, as the beatings would not stop and the police officer advised me not to press charges, as women usually go back to their abusive men. I did both! I tried to leave him without pressing charges.
It did not matter where I went, to my mother’s, grandmother’s, aunt’s or friend’s houses or the kids’ school, he always knew where to find me. I got tired of running and dragging my children here and there so I decided to go back and just give in to him to keep the peace.
The beatings continued, so I would not let him back in the house. This time, he kicked in the door and strangled me unconscious. When I came to, I ran out of the house to a nearby payphone and called the police. He and the police arrived at the same time and I was very emotional. I was crying so hard I could hardly talk, but the police were patient.
When I told them what happened, my husband assured them I was exaggerating and they believed him. They instructed me to go home with my husband or be arrested. I yelled at them, “NO! He is going to kill me!” My husband played the innocent role and the police fell for it, threatening to arrest me for peace disturbance. I asked the police repeatedly to come to my home and see that he kicked in my door. They finally agreed after my asking them several times. The police told me if I am lying, they are locking me up. When they got to my home, sure enough, there lay the door.
They arrested him and the next day, I tried to press charges, but I was told they could not keep him.
The beatings continued! Each time he would beat me, I would call the police and he would come back and beat me more if he was arrested. They never held him past twenty hours and each time I tried to press charges, I was told they could not keep him.
It was at this point, my back was against the wall. I had no help from the law and I had to either do or die. Since I chose to live, my survival instincts had to kick in, so I bought a gun. I kept the gun beside my bed fully loaded, safety off. I instructed my children not to touch the gun. I had a drill with my children so they will know that if he came back, they should run out the front door, go to a neighbor’s house, ask them to call the police, and stay there until I come for them.
He came back that night and the drill was set into motion. God was with me or I would have been in jail for murder because, the police came just in time when I was going to kill him. I was so consumed by fear and wanting to be free from the abuse that I urinated on myself while shooting the gun at him. The police drew their guns on me and demanded I put my gun down. I cooperated and they took me to jail...
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About the Book
This book contains the most intimate feelings, envisions, and thoughts of me as a black woman and of the way I see the world, today. Some are negative; whereas, some are positive. All are how I perceive the world to be, through my experiences and some, through my interpretation of what is expected of me, as a Christian.
Keep in my mind that this is not to demean people, but to share my life’s experiences. I am guilty of some of the things discussed in this piece and upon knowing that, I feel compelled to share some of my most unimaginable experiences with you. Although some of its content may seem graphic, unbelievable, and controversial, I feel blessed that I have had the opportunity to witness or experience such instances as they have helped to make me a better person. I have come a long way from the person I used to be, but I still have a long way to go.
As I struggle to continue to exist in this sometimes cruel and harsh world and I pray that no one else will have to experience what I have. I also pray for those who have seen worse.
So out of all fairness, I want to start this book on my personal being so as to not promote the thought that I am proclaiming to be self righteous or a messenger of God and criticizing others in their profession. I have had many joyous occasions; however, I feel I have experienced and witnessed enough in my life to share them with you. Through sharing my experiences, I am in hopes of gaining something positive, for instance or to name a few: encouragement, compassion, and a stronger faith in God.
I might be a lowly commoner to some and have been a pillar of strength to others. I say this because, it doesn’t matter where you come from, who you are, what race, gender, religion, sexual preference, how much or less education you have, or even how much riches you have, we all still have something in common and moreover, something to offer.
About the Author
I was born in the fabulous city of St. Louis, MO., where I was raised by my maternal grandparents. As an adult, I developed a passion for writing and took a writing class in college. God and my life's experiences inspire me to write, as everyday I live, is a testimony. As "My Life, As A Testimony" is my first book, I am currently working on my second, which is a series of horrifying spiritual short stories titled, "Nightmares from Beyond." I enjoy horror movies, books, etc. I know "Nightmares from Beyond" will bring about the terror I look for in horror movies, as it frightened me immensely, while writing.