Don't tell me to go to HELL

About the Book

This book is about a young lay in a small North Alabama town starting out hoping to find her true love. Being so young when she first got married she knew nothing about what it was going to be like or what she was about to go through. She was brought up to believe that a marriage was supposed to be loving, with trust and happiness. She had to find out that sometimes no matter what you think or believe it doesn’t always happen that way. There is a lot of difference in playing house with your boy neighbor and dolls than making a house and home with your breathing, walking doll husband. She has to find out the hard way about men that they are all not as loving and trusting as you see on television or hear about in fairytales. No matter how hard on person tries to make a marriage work if the other one doesn’t want to try then you’re fighting a losing battle. She has to find out what and how it feels to have someone that you love to be unfaithful to you, like someone has ripped your heart from your body. And how to try to mend over them, put it behind you, and go on trying again.

The story tells us of many kinds of abuse, that abuse isn’t just being beaten up or slapped around by men; but that there are many forms of abuse including physical, mental sexual and verbal. They can make you feel like you are the lowest person on earth, so ugly that no one else would want you. She finds out that sometimes the pain and hurt in a marriage can make you have some really terrible thoughts and that it’s better to get out of it than to stay in it. She finds out that a day’s work is sometimes not an eight-hour day, that sometimes it’s more like a sixteen or twenty-hour day, but with the help of God you can get through it. And if you do get away you may not have much besides peace of mind and being able to just sit down and not have someone telling you that you need to be doing this or you better have done that, but it’s worth it all. And sometimes we might have to play the part of momma and daddy but let me tell you that it is so worth it to be able to say I was there for you. Or for your kids to come up to you and say “Momma I love you, you have always been there for us.” That is worth a lot of pain and heartache. And sometimes, like in this book, you might go down that same old road several times, but by this time you will know the signs and when you see them you will know to get out, that this road is coming to a dead end.  This book is worth it if this just helps one or a few women to see that you don’t have to put up with being done the way I was. It’s hard to do but so worth it and I like to think that it has made me stronger and smarter because by me going through all of this I know a lot of the signs and when to get out. But keep in mind that men work in different ways like the one at the last of the book, that will be a story in and of itself. I hope you enjoy this book and learn from it. Take care, happiness be with you all.

Naomi Basinger

About the Author

Naomi Basinger, a native Alabamian, has lived most of her life in Cullman County. She has been married and divorced six times. She has worked since she was fourteen and for the past twenty-five years two jobs at a time. She also attended college classes at night for three years and graduated with a 4.0 average. She always felt like she had to work two jobs to make sure her children had the things they needed and to support them.   Most of the jobs she worked were at cafe’s or nursing homes, she also took in two older ladies that lived in her home. Naomi would get help to take care of the ladies while she worked her jobs and then she would take over when she came home. Naomi now spends most of her free time with her two daughters and her two beautiful granddaughters. Naomi has not given up on love, but is very afraid of it now. She thought she had found the real thing, but just like the ones in the past he was just out to hurt her. Naomi said if she was to draw a picture of her heart it would look just like a road map with the foot prints of men all over it. After much encouragement from family and friends she decided to writ about her life’s marriages and divorces hoping to help others avoid the pit falls she stumbled upon. When asked if she will ever marry again she just shrugs and says “I have to believe there is someone out there for everyone, I just haven’t found mine yet.”