Daddy Misses Kisses and Candy at War

About the Book

Daddy Misses Kisses and Candy at War

By Kathy Barnes, Ph.D. And Jody Berg

Gives parents ways to encourage ‘feeling talk’ when a daddy or mommy goes to war.

“Avoiding feelings makes behavior worse.”

If you are Cora and are three, four or five years old, life is exciting and full of extremes. You run laughing loudly, and then suddenly you start screaming and crying. Your mom leans over to hug you and you hit her, yelling, “I want my daddy, not you!” As Cora’s mom, you try not to get your feelings hurt, but you are so tired from taking care of her, the house, and balancing the checkbook by yourself. Why complain? you shrug. I have no choice. My husband is fighting in Iraq. But Cora’s behavior is perplexing, painful, and frustrating.

When moms or dads read Daddy Misses Kisses and Candy at War with their child, the pictures, story, and questions on the pages will comfort both. Mom and child will learn to put words to feelings. “I’m mad at my daddy, dear Mommy, dear Mommy, I pick up the phone and call Daddy home. I promise, I’ll be good and eat yucky food, when he doesn’t come home, I’m in a bad mood.” Mom asks Cora, “What food do you think is yucky?” and Cora lists lima beans and lemons. Then Mom rocks her, saying, “Come to me Cora, when you’re mad, dear Cora, We’ll snuggle and cuddle and share with God. Pick up your crayons and squiggle in red. Go you your room and pound on your bed.” Cora feels understood and is learning what to do when she is mad.

At night, nap time and scary, sad times, moms, dads, and their small children will read and re-read our book and learn how to share feelings.

Praise for Daddy Misses Kisses and Candy at War

“The children in our preschool program loved the rhyming and repetition and pictures in the book. They kept interrupting, saying, ‘My friend Susie’s daddy is over in that place too.’ They went to lunch singing, ‘Come to me Cora, dear Cora, dear Cora.’” – Sherry Clow, director of a preschool program.

About the Author

About the Authors

Our two authors have the credentials and personal experience to write this book. Kathy Barnes, Ph.D., whose son served as captain in the JAG Corps in Iraq, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and pastoral counselor. She was also an adjunct faculty member of the University of Georgia. She was a listener and encourager for her daughter-in-law, Jody, and her three-year-old granddaughter, Cora, when her son was gone. She leads a military family support group and believes that parents need to talk about feelings with very young children. “Even before children start using language, parents can say, “You’re crying loudly. You must feel mad or sad. Mommy will hold you and we’ll talk about it.”

“Avoiding feelings makes behaviors worse.”

Jody Berg’s husband, Captain Ed Berg, serves in the Third Infantry Division in Georgia. She is mom of three-year-old Cora and nine-month-old Charis, who was born while Ed was in Iraq. “Charis means Charity,” Jody explains. “People were so kind to us while Ed was gone. We couldn’t have gotten through those ten long months without them.” She is active in two military support groups, the JAG support group for the Third Infantry Division, and the Special Troops Battalion family readiness group. She also is active in her local church and writes a newsletter for mothers of preschoolers.