Thoughts, Memories, Consequence
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| "Her son, what happened to him"? "Oh I looked after him. I promised her I would. I may not have been the perfect Mother in your estimation, always playing with him, going to school plays and stuff, but he was protected, he was safe, guarded". "How did you manage that didn't his Father or the family get him”? "They did, she gave him to me just before she left. I let him say goodbye, look into his Mother's eyes one last time, then I took him. I left her behind, she couldn't do it you see, she couldn't come with us, no spirit left, he took that away, he'd destroyed her, I had to do it, leave her, she would have been in the way. I couldn't look after him and carry her too. I wasn't strong enough for that. I think she knew, she knew why I had to do it, leave her to die like that, to keep him safe"….. "I was starting to move, not much a little, a little more as time went on. Then the banging, someone was banging on the door. I was dragged off the bed and when I hit the floor, they just kicked me under it. I was so scared. The door crashed open and a hand reached under the bed and dragged me out, I saw the gun first, then the uniform, it was the Police. Five of them, they gave me my clothes and told me to get dressed. I did, I don't know how, my clothes must have been inside out; wrong way round, the one stupid thing I have always remembered for sure was my shoes were on the wrong feet…..”. "Are you ok"? Trisha asked tenderly. "Why cry". As another tear fell, then another. "You should be happy now". "I'm crying with FOUR people right now, a Fourteen year old girl, a Four year old boy, that boy's Mother, Angelica's Mother and I'm crying FOR the one person that no-one has cried for ever"....... |
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About the Book
Thoughts and memories were the rules that they lived by. They were the rules that their head had given them. If they tried to break them they would remind them vividly in their dreams, their nightmares never letting them forget. They were a bad person they knew that, the rules never failing to remind them. They had tried so many times to break them in the last thirty-six years since the first memory became the first rule.
Then from nowhere twenty-three years after the last memory had become the last rule their past caught up with them, forcing them to change, to be strong, forcing the rules to change. They won the battle they were still alive but the war was yet to be won.
In a place deep within her she cried out for help, she was heard and the strangest string of events was woven. A voice answered a voice she recognized, she trusted it, she listened and went with it.
Together they faced the long journey and they began to understand the deceit, the lies, and the untruths that the rules had told them and they began to break them one by one, it was a long road, but their friend gave them courage, courage they didn’t know they had until they stared the last rule face to face, eye to eye, and said “NO, we are who we are, you do not own us anymore. We are me we are Chrissie”.
With a tender kiss and a gentle smile he left them with a friendship never to be forgotten. They woke and silently they began to live her way. They are still learning but thanks to their friend every time she smiles they remember and thank him for giving to them the person she is the person that through him they found, the one who saved them, the one who cared CHRISSIE.
About the Author
Born in Doncaster,
This her first book is based on her life and experiences and she hopes that among these pages she brings across the message that no matter how difficult life can become for those of us who become innocent victims of crime, though we never get over it, never forget it, it is possible to come through, and not let it rule us.
She made a movie in her head; she shot and re-shot month after month, when she wrapped she found who she was; she liked the person she was. Some people thought she was crazy but it didn’t stop her, it made her more determined to tell it as it was, so she wrote this book.
She knows from the experience of writing this book it is not easy to look in the mirror but she would like other victims to know that it is possible to look in the mirror and come away from it with confidence liking who you are and she would like to tell anyone who will listen. Memories can’t hurt you, they are just storage in our minds, it’s how we deal with them that really matters and if you find a way to deal with them no matter how crazy it seems, if it works without harming you or anyone else go with it like she did. She truly believes it’s the best thing she has ever accomplished on her own, her only help a reflection she trusted and a voice she listened to. Now she hopes it can help others.