Relationships
Sex, Lies and the Truth
by
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Relationships-Sex, Lies and the Truth is a parody on relationships and an education on relationships. It seeks to get the dirt out of relationships and wash them in the public eye as a means of catharsis. We use each other daily for our own ends and this ought to stop now.
I got the stimulus to write on seeing a booklet of poems by a brother. I published a number of booklets for use by children in church festivals. However, my longing was to find a subject which would not only be entertaining to maintain interest, but serve as an educational tool.
It is my hope that as you laugh at yourself, which is the purpose of comedy, you would also correct your vices. This work does not seek to tear down, but to build you up in your knowledge of relationships.
My book has been a result of such personal challenging experiences and those recounted to me by others. It could not have been possible without the input of those who willingly volunteered information, some knowingly, some unsuspectingly. Your comments, criticisms and suggestions have been a wellspring to my efforts. Surely, your contribution will have a lasting place in the hearts and minds of readers throughout the world. It is you who have made this work successful, and I wish I could embrace you all.
As I wrote this book, which took me some two years, I reflected on the sad state of relationships in various avenues of life. I concluded that they could be better, but egoism has crushed all the efforts of the sane to bring healing. If you have been unfaithful to your friendship with someone or have abused their trust in some way, you have the opportunity, while alive, to make amends. Today could be the start of a new life for you, if only you have the courage to accept your fault, seek forgiveness, and move on with your life. It makes no sense carrying a load of guilt on your conscience. Deal with it today before something unpleasant happens to prevent you.
In writing, as I analyze behaviours, I concluded that the study of human relationships is one of the most intricate, exciting and revealing. No two persons are the same, so that cloned behaviour is, if possible, unacceptable. What is needed is that people realize what the desire in their daily relationships, what they wish to achieve, unselfishly, from their relationships, and go after it with all courage. Do not allow circumstances to daunt you in your effort to have a strong relationship, with your husband, wife or friend.
One habit needs to be broken among men, that is seeing women only as objects of pleasure. Of course, some women treat men in the same way, just seeking carnal gratification. This is disgusting conduct which must be discontinued so that we can coexist without the friction of sexual abuse, that is, using sex as the excuse for a friendship. There are so many more beautiful aspects of a relationship, other than sex, for when you get old, and the desire for sex wanes, what will you offer to that relationship? You should have something exciting, like ideas and communication to bring to the relationship.
What communication does is to break down the barrier of mistrust and opens up the gate of transparency. Too many persons like the idea of hiding important information from their partners, but eventually it comes crashing down on them like an avalanche, removing the veil of hypocrisy in its path. The lack of communication has caused lives to be lost forever and the fire of friendship will never be lit again in that relationship. Do not fool yourself, you need friends around you to help in your developmental process. I have cultivated some friendships over the years which have stood the test of time. It is comforting to know that in the time of loneliness or distress you can call a friend, to whom you are also obligated to succour in their hour of need.
I can truly say that my life has been challenging and exciting, at home, school and church. On the last Mothers’ Day I went to see my pastor/mentor for many years, Muriel Layne. It was a pleasure to hear some of the guys saying they were just talking about me. They would have probably been reminiscing my glory days as a Youth leader, poet and dramatist. They were at the church celebrating the ground-breaking ceremony of a complex for a sanctuary, Senior Citizens’ home and Day Care Centre. It was a joy to see that plans we discussed over two decades ago with another brother in his car, have now come to fruition. We had good times training the children of at community and visiting Juvenile centres on weekends to counsel the delinquent teens. We built relationships with those youth who are now men and women.
Some of my most exciting days were spent at Youth Camps, Day Camps and Cadet Camps, for it was there I met so many persons, who became a part of my circle of friends. Now, it is absolutely vital for survival to have friends who really care to accept you as you are and remember you even though you are not in their presence. That only happens when you have made an impact on people’s lives. The truth is that I enjoyed and cherished those moments I had to spend meanin
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About the Book
The book Relationships-Sex, Lies and the Truth delves into the secrets of hidden relationships. It seeks to expose the reality of most relationships, that they stink, are only formed for selfish reasons. My book aims at not only exposing, but also correcting, offering advice on forming lasting, useful relationships. It is not a treatise in the subject, but an expose on various aspects of relationships, with a view to clarify what has long been denied and swept under the carpet of life. That carpet is pulled out and sent to the cleaners for a new-look relationship, without hypocrisy. To some, the book may seem harsh in certain areas, but to get a correct diagnosis of your illness, you have to get to the root, and this can only be done by telling your doctor the truth of the pain and symptoms. It is then that healing is possible.
About the Author
I am a Barbadian by birth and have lived most of my life there. My childhood was one of disciplined upbringing, but also of adventure. There was time during the vacation for walks, rides and sea baths. I have lived a really enjoyable life, for I believe that life ought to be lived to the fullest. Mine has been one also of teaching and training young men and women for life. One of the heartening experiences is that they do not forget me, and always have some heartening comment on my input in their lives. I believe in living and forgiving, so that past hardships and disappointments have only been moments of learning and strengthening my resolve to succeed.
Most of my life has been spent teaching children in churches, schools and Youth Camps. I have always taken this task or vocation as a serious ministry, which has propelled me to excellence in the service of my fellowman. It has been a real pleasure helping children, advising and guiding them. You are all in my heart, even though I may not remember your name now. What I have instilled in you, keep as a deposit that will give you great returns in the future. Always have a great respect for the aged, for one day, you will reach that stage, if the Lord grants you the time.
Take life one day at a time, for you cannot change the process of time. Try hard not to waste a single moment to build solid, lasting relationships, for they will be a tower of strength to you as you proceed through life. People have met their best friends, husbands, wives, and business associates at school, college, church and camp. Do not take for granted these moments which you should treasure for all your life. Realizing that time is not on your side, then every waking moment should be spent making your relationships work. Never leave a stone unturned to finding the truth about your relationship, whether you yourself are truthful, for you have first to be truthful to yourself, or else your whole life is a farce, a comedy to be exposed on the stage of life for all to see and scrutinize.
Remember that life basically is difficult, considering all the persons we meet at school, work and in the broader world community as we travel. Take all your experiences, not as disappointments and hardships, but as necessary lessons to toughen you to build character. What amazes me is that parents, who have been built by hard times, now allow their children to escape even the thought of taking a bus to school. They spoon feed them so much that when the first trial comes, they cave in, run and hide from reality. Let them even suffer some deprivation so that they will grow as mature individuals who know how to handle difficulties or challenges, as I prefer to call them. If the ore of gold with its roughness and dirt does not go through the fire, it cannot be refined to become the gold, which makes that beautiful ring, chain or pendant that so many delight to wear.