Finally...Monologues that Work (Ages 4-18)

Rachael

(4-8)

My older sister never lets me hang out in our room when her friends are over.  She says I’m annoying and not cool enough.  Not cool enough?  Please!  I get all my clothes at Bloomingdales, I was blessed with beautiful hair and I’m the most popular girl in my grade.  How much cooler could I be?  I mean, what is she talking about?  I know I’m two years younger but hanging out with me would really be good for her.  I’m actually doing her a favor…yeah, that’s right I am.  You know what?  Forget her!  I am too great to be brought down by her.  Don’t you think so teddy?   I spend way too much time trying to please her when really I’m about as perfect and as beautiful as you can get!  I think I’m gonna ask mom and dad for my own room so I can have my friends over without her being around.  Because if you think about it, it’s her who isn’t cool enough to hang out with me!

David

(14-18)

Hey dad what’s up?  Yeah I’ll talk to you in a minute…I gotta go the bathroom.  One minute…..I just woke up.  What’s your deal?  What car?  What are you taking about?  Let me just take a piss and I’ll talk to you.  Well sorry for the cursing but I just woke up and I gotta go and you’re annoying me about your car.  I don’t know what happened to it.  Why don’t you ask Sean?  (pause…looking stunned)  Okay I’ll sit down….chill out.  Dad I’m so tired I can’t even remember if I had the car last night, and so what if I did?  That doesn’t prove that I scratched the door.  My jacket was in the car?  Oh well I must have left it there yesterday afternoon.  There were empty beer cans?  Dad I don’t even drink…I’m not even 21.  I would never do that.  You’re not buying the “good kid too innocent to drink” thing?  Just curious….what gave me away?  The hang over, the fact that its 3:00 in the afternoon and I just woke up or my off the charts grades?  Jesus Christ man….turn that light off.  I think I’m gonna puke.  Later…..leave me alone.  Holy crap, turn down that music.  No I don’t want any eggs.  I don’t want anything.  What is that smell?  Please stop torturing me.  Alright I had the car.  I wasn’t driving though.  I have no clue who actually was, but it’s home, and it’s fairly safe.  I’ll pay for the scratches.  Yes I’ll get a damn job.  Dad I swear I would rather buy mom tampons then go through this right now.  I feel so sick.  I just want to go to the bathroom and go to bed.  I get it, you’re doing the whole teach me a lesson so I’ll get so sick I’ll never drink again thing.  Real cute.  Not so effective but….. ‘touche’.   I’m going back to bed.  Yes to get some rest. (says the next line under his breath)  Yes so I’m rested to go out tonight.  Umm I didn’t say anything.  WHAT!  I’m not riding my bike.  Are you crazy?  No car for two months?  That’s bull!  Yeah you’re real funny.  I’m not gonna ‘pimp’ out my bike.  Please don’t ever say pimp again.  I get it no drinking, and taking the car and blah blah blah.  Good bye.

Formats

Softcover

$16.95

Softcover

$16.95