The Anthology of Stingy Bear's Adventures

STINGY  BEAR’S  CHRISTMAS  ADVENTURES

Bearport Security

          As Christmas approached, Stingy Bear counted his presents under the tree.  Only six presents, thought Stingy Bear, and so little time before Christmas.  Oh if only I had not upset Santa Bear he lamented, then I could expect a bigger “seasonal haul.”  I wonder if I will get the Frantic, Furry, Wobbly, Woozer, that is the most important toy of all.  As time passed, Stingy Bear became increasingly more curious about the contents of those six packages with his name on them. 

The packages had all been wrapped very well in peek-proof fashion.  More importantly, Father Bear shook his claw at his son and warned, “If I catch you peeking in his presents again this year, then you get a spanking.”  Still, curiosity got the better of Stingy Bear.  Stingy Bear weighed the packages on the bathroom scale and then searched the toy catalogue to correlate the weight with items advertised.  That effort did not yield any useful information.  There must be a way to beat the system, thought Stingy Bear as he scratched his fuzzy little head.

One afternoon after school, Stingy Bear decided to load three of his six presents in his wagon and off he went to the Bruin Dale Veterinary Clinic.  At the clinic, Stingy Bear asked Dr. Barkenhauser to x-ray the packages.  The veterinarian explained that x-rays cost fifty dollars each and requested payment in advance.  He also explained that, “use of the x-ray machine was intended to diagnose sick and injured pets, not to peek in packages.”  Stingy Bear, naturally, did not have $150.  A veterinary assistant, observing what Stingy Bear was up to suggested that he, “do like all of the other bears and wait until Christmas to find out what you have in the boxes.”  That idea did not appeal to Stingy Bear and off he went.

Shortly thereafter, Stingy Bear found himself taking the packages in his wagon to the Bruin Dale Community Hospital.  At the hospital, Stingy Bear requested that x-rays be taken of the contents of the three boxes.  The radiological staff insisted that Stingy Bear provide proof of health care insurance or present a Medabear Card prior to rendering services.  The family physician, Dr. Killbear, lectured him that, “the intended use of the x-ray equipment was to diagnose sick and injured bears, not to help cubs peek in Christmas packages.”  Stingy Bear did not have any idea what insurance or Medabear Cards were, nor did he care.  He was on a mission.   Like at the veterinary clinic, a laboratory technician made a recommendation to Stingy Bear that he, “wait until Christmas to be surprised with the package contents.”  Once again, a brilliant plan seemed to be obstructed. 

Not to be defeated, Stingy Bear devised another plan.  The following day, he took three presents on a bus to Bruin Dale International Bearport where he placed them on the security conveyor belt.  There, thought Stingy Bear, what could be easier, no money, no insurance, no Medabear Cards, no lectures, just good old tax payer subsidized security.  Suddenly a siren sounded, then red and blue lights flashed.  The conveyor belt stopped a