Royal Moments of A King’s Daughter

DAY 1

[REJECTION]

Leviticus 6:28- 29/ Jeremiah 18:4-5

“LORD, …And Make Me Over, Again!”

"Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for; brokenness, brokenness is what I need... brokenness is what you want from me..."

I remember the very first time I heard this song (before it was even in the stores). I was at my home in New Jersey in my kitchen washing dishes and the television was on in the living room. I entered the living room and there on TBN was a young gentleman whom I had never seen nor heard before, pleading (in song) for God to do the unthinkable. He was, as I now know him to be, Gospel Recording Artist, Micah Stampley.  I will never forget saying out loud, "Why would anyone beg to be broken?" But then it hit me right during the vamp: "Take my life transform it... to Thine..." Immediately, every hurt, every disappointment, every failure, every fear took on the weight of a massive boulder, and under the unction of the Holy Spirit, I fell to the floor weeping.  I had been walking around with a sharp dagger protruding from my back and leaving a trail of blood behind, yet trying to be "all things to all men." I had agreed to assist a particular church but did not know the outcome would be so painful (I felt used and betrayed). I was already dealing with a myriad of other issues and trying to remain "faith- filled" and not complain in the interim. I remember questioning God, "why would You permit me to be hurt so badly by those whom I thought were sent to help me, or whom You told me to help? I could not understand why I was being served such a bitter cocktail at the most inappropriate time of my life. I was running on empty, and had eventually opted for "shut down." But God continued to send rays of hope (right before He became silent altogether—for a spell).

A colleague of mine in the ministry had visited me at the church where I was assisting during that particular season and had given me a prophetic word, one that I was uncertain I should even receive. Why? Because it precisely included sorrow, suffering and pain.  I'll never forget, as she stood there holding my hands and pouring out "what thus sayeth the Lord..." I began to pray in the spirit when the Lord told me to "Shut up and listen!" (LOL), That evening God reminded me that I was not exempt from suffering or pain, and that if I were to be used of Him as He had also used His Son, that I would have to endure the hardships that came my way, regardless of how sorrowful, painful or personal. When I think of it now, I laugh (though I wasn't laughing at the time).  I wanted "the baby" without contractions—without the pain. I wanted a quick C-Section without ever going under the knife. But God was faithful in providing me an explanation as to why the need for suffering and pain as He led me directly to His written word in Genesis 1:16: Which read, "To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception:  In pain you shall bring forth..." "We cannot BRING FORTH without suffering or pain." But this suffering and this pain are good, for it is linked to our destinies, and it is God ordained. Because Christ preceded me in all suffering He understood, and therefore accompanied me with His all-sufficient grace.

So, there I was, several days later at home watching the anointing literally pour from the televisi