To Outland And Back

Spike Malone was a big imposing looking man; he had close cropped hair with two gold rings in each ear, and a large tattoo on each forearm, one showing a heart with “mum and dad” inside it, the other a magnificent looking hawk. He also wore an old leather bikers jacket with “Harley Davidson” emblazoned on the back. A large scar on his right cheek gave him a look of menace, although he’d received it from one of his beloved hawks but would never admit to it.

“Hello Spike, how’s it going?” said Jimmy cheerfully,

“Hiya Spike!” echoed Mac,

“Well if it aint the terrible twins,” said Spike, “What brings you two out this early on a Sunday morning?” he asked suspiciously,

“Just a little bit of business,” said Mac as he rummaged through the bric-a-brac on Spikes stall. Old books, records, ethnic beads, and, the reason the boys were here, crystals adorned the stall, all individually priced

“Oi! Get yer mits offa there!” barked Spike slapping Macs hand, he took great pride in his stock and didn’t like it being mauled by anyone, unless of course it was a sale.

“Oh yeah!” said Spike suspiciously, “What kind of business?” Spike remembered the last time he did “a bit of business” with these two. How he let them talk him into giving him his hi-fi- system for a pile of old newspapers he’ll never know, they’d told him that the papers had been acquired from an antiques fair and that they were extremely rare and expensive. It didn’t take him long to discover otherwise and immediately repossessed his hi-fi. But the fact that they’d taken him for a fool once before had now put him on his guard.

“Conkers!” said Mac pointing to Jimmy, who was holding the box of conkers,

“Eh?” said Spike nervously, “Why would I want conkers?”

“Oh come on Spike!” said Jimmy, “We know all about your little scam!”

“Scam? What scam?” he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Something to do with hawks?” asked Mac as he tossed a large quartz crystal up and down in his hand, “We’ve done our homework Spike so don’t look so surprised!”

“Or would you prefer it if we just shouted out and told everyone here just what you’re doing?”

“Ok, ok!” said Spike looking around to make sure nobody was listening,

“What are you after this time?”

“Crystals” said Jimmy,

“Crystals?”

“Yeah, crystals, three rock crystals,”

Spike took the box of conkers off of Jimmy and looked inside it,

“Mmm,” he pondered as he inspected the conkers, “Ok, take these three,” he said as he took three large crystals from a box in the back of his van at the same time sliding the box of conkers discreetly out of site,

“Spike, you’re a star,” said Mac as he took the crystals,

“So,” asked Spike, “What have you heard about my scam then?”

“What scam?” asked Mac with mock surprise,

“We didn’t know you had a scam going Spike!” said Jimmy with equal mock surprise, the two boys looked at each and laughed before running off into the crowd,

“You arseholes!” Spike shouted after them, “I’ll get you for this!”