WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER

For the first time, the man and woman in love, now husband and wife, after being united in the Sacrament of Marriage, are alone.  It is the beginning of a private, personal, intimate relationship, known, and to be experienced only by themselves.  It is unlike any other human relationship and most important on this earth, for without it mankind would not be.

            Eternal Wisdom created man to understand, to communicate, to enjoy and love each other in common physical, mental and spiritual appreciation of each other, but, besides, for a man and a woman to know a sexual attraction which would make them closer, dearer, happier together than in any other human companionship.

            It began with a chaste, affectionate discovery of each other:  the holding of hands, the embrace, the kiss, the controlled caress.  There was the desire to be always in each other’s company and sight, at a party, a sporting event, a movie, a walk, at home.  There was the sharing of everyday mundane tasks, the exchange and revelation of mental and spiritual concepts, ideas and ideals.  And as love and devotion grew the undercurrent of desire for sexual satisfaction.  Respecting the sanctity of marriage, there was no question of the need to wait and plan, anticipating this day, the crossing of the threshold of the bridal chamber and the fulfillment of their conjugal love in sexual intimacy and consummation.

What they had previously discussed as cold biological fact will now become an emotional, pleasurable experience.  The affection already known and felt in the past, the controlled, limited caress and kiss will be enhanced, released, to reach unimagined heights of emotion in a climactic consummation.  After the reception and well-wishing, the time long or short, to reach whatever private retreat the newlyweds had chosen for their honeymoon, they at last are two alone.  In their courtship and planning for married life, they had come to know each other rather well, in verbal communication, gaining psychological and spiritual insight and always present a physical attraction, though morally restrained.

            Now, they approach the reality of more intimate expression of love with desire, perhaps, not to delay the experience any longer, or, even in these modern, immodest times, with modest hesitancy.  For the greater the love, the more there will be the thoughtfulness and consideration of the enjoyment and happiness of the other, over the gratification of self.  In this case, one loves another more than self.

            From Vatican II,  “Married love is uniquely expressed and perfected by the exercise of the acts proper to marriage.  Hence the acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude” (Gaudium et Spes, no. 49).

            It is for both man and woman to experience the personal pleasure of intercourse, as well as, the happiness of the realization of the pleasure of the other.  In fact, for the act to be culminated in the way intended by nature is that male and female be mutually, sexually aroused.  It is quite evident and specific in the other animals instinctively moved to copulate, just at the right time, for ideal unitive action of meeting of sperm and egg for successful fertilization - there is no rape.  This is the natural order that leads to sexual consummation:  attraction and response, and its end is procreation.

            It is no different for the human animal.  One man and one woman, predestined for each other, are attracted to each other.  Except, not unknowingly, as the rest of Creation, but knowingly, they are conscious of their physical sexual feelings and cognizant of their spiritual delight in them.  And it is this arousal to the point of orgasm and the dissemination of the male seed that is necessary for natural consummation.  That is, the climax of sexual intercourse, conception, is dependent on original emotional arousal.

            It is by sight and touch, by kiss and caress of each other, of any part of the other’s body, but especially in the area of sexual organs, such feeling is experienced, transmitted and joyfully shared.  For his body is no longer just his own, but belongs to her, as hers belongs to him.  But this is no more evident than at the moment the two become one in act.  But none of the preliminary and preparatory lovemaking, no matter how private and delicate an area, is as invasive of the person of the other, as the intimacy of actual conjugal union of genital parts.  But so did God design it, and for man and woman “created…in his image”

(Gn