Confessions of a New Mother
(A Humorous, but Truthful Account of Being a First-Time Parent)
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Ladies, I
Ladies, I am warning you now: no matter what your education is when you get pregnant, you will lose brain cells from conception on. I don’t know if this is proven; I am only speaking from experience. When you are pregnant, you will find yourself forgetting the order in which you shower. You know, you will be stopping to think, “did I wash my hair yet?” even though you just did. You will find yourself putting the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the refrigerator. You will go to work with two different shoes on. This one could continue on through the first few months of a newborn as well. After you deliver, I think you must burn some brain cells in delivery, because you come out a little slower than you went in. Of course, I mean this all in jest. I don’t know if it is because you spend the next few months so sleep-deprived that you run on autopilot, but now you will forget how many days it has been since you have showered. You won’t know what day of the week it is, and you may have to think twice when looking at a clock about what time it is. Suddenly, shorts and a sweatshirt are okay to wear with flip-flops to dinner in January, if they are clean. As the child gets a little older, you will repeat the same tasks more than a couple of times, because you can’t remember what you did sixty seconds ago. You will probably ask your significant other the same question more than once in less than an hour, because you don’t remember the answer, and you will find the remote control or home phone in your car. I don’t know what happens, but Mom equals lack of brain cells! Just prepare and hope that everyone around you understands. You can’t change it; just move on. Hopefully, you will run into another mom with a boot and a sandal on, trying to sign her check with a tampon, and talking on her remote control in the checkout line. Other moms are your only line of defense. Embrace them; they are the only ones who understand.
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About the Book
Confessions of a New Mother is a guilt-free, humorous journey thru being a first time mother. With the pressures by society to be the “perfect” mother, this book is the friend every new mom needs. It will allow you to laugh at the “first time” events of motherhood a woman may never have thought she would face before. Jackie details her journey thru Pregnancy, Diaper blowouts, Bottle Breakdowns, Blanket addictions, to learning the word NO! This book gives a guilt-free laugh at some of the day to day struggles that mothers need not take so seriously. This book is an honest confession of how one mother didn’t know what she was doing and eventually had to laugh off the pressure.
About the Author
Jackie has been writing human interest humor stories for over 20 years. Jackie is the mother of two little girls. Jackie was an Executive mother who figured motherhood would be easier than managing a staff. This book was written after she figured out that motherhood wasn't easily packaged up, and that the new baby was the hardest boss she had ever worked for. This book allows you to laugh at the mishaps of motherhood. Just when you thought you had done everything wrong as a mother, Jackie exposes her mishaps and lets you in to her stumbling through being a first time mother.