Nine Thousand Miles To Kansas

  Who says that, with time, our relationships and marriages tend to go as stale as a loaf of Christmas fruitcake served on the fourth of July? We need only to get a little creative, find new commonly shared interests, and discover new and exciting activities together—and then fun times, they just keep on a-happenin’.

The latest thing that Ken and I had found out there on the prairie was something really exciting. We called it “tick trapping.” Yes, the thrill of the kill really gets the circulation going, the adrenaline flowing, and the pulse rate right up there on a par with strenuous aerobics. It’s a fun activity, and very rewarding, too. It can be done often—and it had better be, or else you’ll be really sorry later.

The genuine sense of accomplishment was so great when one of us found a tick on the other. It meant that we got to squish the little bloodsucker right between those needle-nose pliers, and the thrill of the kill was exhilarating. Why, if we had any neighbors, they would have heard us a-whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ each time we made a kill. They probably would’ve thought we’d just bagged us an eight-point deer or something.

But the real fun was in the hunt itself. Those ticks could really travel. I mean, if they saw you were after them, they would move faster than Aunt Mildred going to a garage sale the day before your birthday. And they liked to hide in really out-of-the-way places, like dark, private places. So hunting them just got better and better each time, the longer you did it.

You see, you had to start out first on your partner’s head, neck, arms, and legs—and then go to the other areas. So, the excitement just builds and builds with each new territory explored.

An important benefit of tick trapping, besides the thrill of the hunt and kill, is that it increases trust between partners. There’s something about those needle-nose pliers close to one’s tender anatomy that can really drive a person crazy with fear—if there’s not enough trust in the relationship.

Those Kansas ticks were cagey little critters. They figured out how to time it just right so that, as we walked under “their” tree, they could make a twenty-foot drop with bull’s-eye precision, and land right on a nice, enticing piece of flesh. They would also hide in the grass or on the pretty flowering bushes, just waiting for a foolish human or dog to come by and whisk them away for a delicious bite. Ken and I would just pass through the yard to the mailbox, or go for a quick pick of vegetables in the garden, or walk from the garage to the front door, and there the ticks would be, hitching a ride and inviting themselves to dinner.

It was good that Ken and I enjoyed tick trapping, because we certainly didn’t see an end to that activity any time soon. I read in the newspaper that a bumper crop of ticks was expected to infest Kansas that year, due to the mild winter and overabundant wildlife.

So, while we were in Kansas, Ken and I just got used to dealing with ticks. They were better than lice, I suppose, since ticks are easier to see and eradicate. One must try to look on the bright side. At least, that’s what I kept reminding myself.

And the ticks weren’t without their good points. After all, they sure added to the spice of life, way out there on the prairie.