How Will I Survive

CHAPTER ONE

THE DAY HAS COME

It all began on a hot day In July of 1957 the day Susie was born. Susie’s mother gave birth to a 6lb 11 ounce baby girl. Susie lived in a little two-bedroom house that sat on a street that was one block long. She always thought of her houses of being like shacks. Her parents did not have much money back then, It was not a very nice neighborhood they lived in. The houses were all dumps around us. Momma did not need any more kids. They could not even take care of the ones they already had.

There were eight of us kids. When her mom and dad were finished having them. I was the fifth one born. I had dark hair and blue eyes and the runt of the litter.

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We were always so scared to go off to bed at night cause you never knew what dad would do to mom. Sometimes he would come home and pull mom out of bed while she is sleeping and beat the holy hell right out of her. He would be so loud it would wake us up. Almost every night I would wet the bed. I was afraid to get out of bed cause I thought if he would hear or see me he would beat me. At times he did take me out of bed and beat me. Well it was off to bed. Mom had told me it would be OK to go to sleep. That’s what she thinks. I was scared to death. That when dad came back home he should be Sober. What a joke. We could only hope for miracles. It was the middle of the night and I heard dad stumble in and apologizing to mom. And asked if she would Forgive him. And of course she did. Butt he would go right back to beating her again as soon as he started drinking the next day. Almost every night he had that dam bottle under his side of the bed. It was like my mom was Brain dead or something.

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Man I needed to see my mom butt I knew that was impossible. I knew she would never believe me. This had gone on several different times. I was just hurting so badly. I wondered if any body would ever love me. I was beginning to doubt it. It did not look good. Well the days and nights went by as the rest did. The next night dad went out as he always did and as I lied in my bed. I heard my door open once again. It was Corey. He asked if he could talk to me/ I said yes. He came in and sat down beside me. He seemed like he really wanted to talk to me. I thought maybe he had a problem and wanted me to listen to him. He then started to put his hand down my pants. I asked him what he was doing. I said I thought you wanted to talk. He said there is no talking to you. You know you like this. So shut up. He then had Greg come in and hold me down while they took turns having sex with me. I begged them to stop. Butt they would not. I was crying. They put the blanket over my head and told me to lay still that it would be over real soon. Finally they were done. It seemed like hours. I could not fight them off. Was I that bad of a little girl for them to do all these things to me. I often asked myself these questions.