The Acrapulator's Guide
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On the core word, crap …
With his new technology, the commodious Mr. Crapper assured that his good family name would be remembered for generations to come -- AND that his descendants would be legally changing their surname.
Despite its core word, there is poetry to it. It fits its definition. Easy to articulate, and comprehensible to most without further explanation. It is phonics at its best. Ah! The beauty of it all.
On collecting salt and pepper shakers …
As one collector said, “you just can''t get a naked lady with salt & pepper shaker boobs everywhere, you know! Ask for THAT at Wal-Mart.”
On world record collections …
Graham (Barker) possesses the world shattering record for navel “fluff.” Don’t go get your glasses. You read it correctly. The old boy has about fifty-four grams of his own belly button lint...
On children collectors
If you do not think ALL kids are collectors, you obviously don’t have children. Hell, you don’t even know any.
On elderly collectors
If you don’t think oldsters are acrapulators, just join Jill and me on the estate sale run. One time, we… purchased a couple hundred light bulbs from a really old guy, who looked like his lights would go out long before the desk lamp.
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About the Book
The Acrapulator’s Guide is a zany exploration into the world of collectors and what the author refers to as “serial acquisitionists.” Starting with the base word of “acrapulate,” the author builds a hilarious vocabulary of terms and definitions along with an array of funny anecdotes and personal experiences. His unconventional “conversational” style makes the reader feel like a participant in a discussion. Illustrated with more than 35 original cartoons by Joe McGuire, this book will put a smile on the face of any reader. For more about acrapulating, visit the author’s website at www.acrapulate.com.
About the Author
Your Author: Larry P. Horist is a rather serious fellow in his other life. He is a public policy wonk, and runs a management consulting business along with his wife, Jill. This book is a departure from his otherwise droll writings, and reveals a devious twisted mind that will delight the readers.