Sometimes it is just too hard to be dignified

When my husband and I were in our younger, wilder days and thought that we had something to prove I guess, our best friends and us decided that we were going to go out and paint the town on New Years Eve!  We got all dressed up and went out to see a live band that we liked to listen to whenever they came to our area.  We were dancing and drinking and having a good ole time, until the band stopped playing.  So we decided it was time to start for home.  We didn’t get much further then the parking lot, when the guys were trying to decide which one of them was going to drive home, since between the two of them, they said there was 4 lines on the road!  We decided to go near by to Mr. Doughnut and drink a cup of coffee or 10, whatever it took to sober up.

The four of us walked into Mr. Doughnut, people sitting all around, so the guys went to find a booth while us girls went to the ladies room.  It’s our job right? 

So we went into the restroom, her in one booth and me in another.  Suddenly and harshly I might say, I noticed that I didn’t seem to be able to squat without falling over and hitting my head on the door!  After beating my head on the door several times I finally managed and pulled myself back together, when I happened to notice something didn’t feel right??  Couldn’t quite put my finger on the problem, but something wasn’t right, so I’m standing there trying to figure it out, when my friend, all finished, washed and waiting for me to come out, says, “Hey, what are you doing in there?  Did ya fall in?”  I said, “No, but I can’t get my panty hose up right!”  She said, “ What do you mean you can’t get them up right?”  I said, “ They don’t fit!”  She says, “They have to fit, you wore them in here didn’t you?” Well, yeh, but I’m telling you they don’t fit now!” I said.  So she told me to open the door and she would help me out!  Normally I would think this a little strange, but tonight, I wasn’t going to argue.  So, I opened the door, she reaches down and pulls them up almost to my ears I think! And says, “There now, let’s go out with the guys and drink coffee.  I looked at her and said, “ I cant, something still doesn’t feel right!”, I’m telling her!  So we both look down and yes the panty hose were indeed up!  But my undies were down around my knees!  We laughed and howled and then straightened ourselves up, and walked out of the restroom all dignified and proper and sat down with guys.  They were laughing and leaned over and told us they could hear everything that was going on in the restroom!  We turned to see everyone in the place starring at us.

So much for being dignified ladies.

Written by: “D”