Diary of a Love Affair

LaterAt that very moment – midnight – he rang! Oh delight! I have just danced the can-can to celebrate!He said he took a chance on my still being up: well he might, I replied, since I tended to go to bed at 3 a.m.! Had he just got back? – Yes, and he was EXHAUSTED, there had been a four-hour rehearsal followed by the three-hour concert, and a party after that (had there been attractive women there? silently asked my jealous spirit), which he had left quite soon (good!), though they looked like making a night of it. It had been nice to ?nd my message on the tape. Well, I answered, I remembered how he’d felt after his solo recital – but of course this was different, as he was leader this time. Yes, he said, doing this for love really (I trembled!) – old friends, old associations! He asked after my day, so I told him it had been lively – no, not exhausting but enough to make me decide not to go out tonight (to make sure he didn’t think I HAD to stay in!). And I’d been listening to his tape? –  we discussed it, and agreed it was lovely. So, I continued, he would have a relaxing day tomorrow? – well, he’d have to practise his sonatas. Of course. But next time he was inclined to walk, I added, why not give me a ring? Yes, he said, but not tomorrow – no, I said, I was dancing anyway, tomorrow; but perhaps we could make the most of the long evenings? ‘Or next Saturday we could walk,’ he added, thrillingly. He hadn’t much to do next Saturday. ‘What about an expedition?’ I suggested daringly. And he agreed!And so we have a date for next Saturday, oh glory and delight! What could be nicer than such an end to my fears? So, tenderly wishing him a good night’s sleep and a relaxing tomorrow, we parted: he to his slumbers, soothed by a friendly word, I to my delight at midnight! Ah, but this IS real, and the goblins are banished again! He rang me at midnight, the witching hour, despite his tiredness – glad to ring me, though I demanded no response; and I, who hate phone calls after 10 p.m., I was so glad to hear him! Did I not say, all rules are broken for him?

The second half consisted of a rather jolly Puccini piece, a Missa Gloria. Though Alan doesn’t think much of it, somehow, EVERYBODY enjoyed it – orchestra, choir and audience – and the orchestra played well, with none of the strain Alan said had been there in the ?rst half. Everybody relaxed; and when afterwards – smiling with pleasure myself as I went out – I saw Alan again in the foyer, he was very different: bow-tie off, shirt open, smiling and exhilarated. ‘You are on a high, then?’ I greeted him, and he admitted he was. His exit was suitably delayed, as all sorts of old friends and acquaintances came up to greet him and praise the concert. ‘I’m basking in re?ected glory here!’ I said at last, as we ?nally got out of the door, having endured the compliments of the Mayor in his chain! Alan did not attempt to introduce me to these varied acquaintances, some of whom may have known Liz too – but I suppose he will not have been sorry to be seen accompanied by an attractive blonde in a satin turquoise blouse, charcoal jacket and skirt. Now at last I had the chance to help him celebrate. We drove back in record time, to my cottage as it was nearer, and he immediately put on a Duke Ellington jazz tape which he had been playing in his car. My lovely Alan was in the same liberated, delightful mood as when we visited Irene and Malcolm: tie off, shirt undone, but looking perfectly beautiful nevertheless in his black-and-white, he bebopped, gyrated and hummed to the music, and smooched with me! He was drinking lager, I wine, and I drank quite a lot, but it was he who made me drunk, just as the concert had made him so. ‘It IS exhilarating to have done it!’ he admitted, rescinding his interval commitment to ‘give up leading soon’ in favour of practising more! I beamed and made much of him, taking some photos, and telling him that he treated people as he treated music, with sympathy and respect. ‘How do you know that?’ he demanded, half impressed and half inclined to argue. ‘I can see, I can hear!’ I retorted. And I told him he must stop talking of decline and getting old, he was in his prime and had many talents. He protested and laughed and said I would make him vain; but still for all that he was pleased and proud, and in his heart half-believed me!Eventually I said, ‘And may I seduce the Leader of the Orchestra?!’ and he said ‘Oh yes please!’, and off we went to the downstairs bedroom.