Persistently Challenged

All of my family tried to keep this information from my father while he was hospitalized. “We did not want him to worry about the business.” Our efforts were in vain. The day after the arrangements were made my mother visited him and there, on his hospital tray, lie the newspaper opened to the death notice section. We were discovered. Mother assured him after the inquisition that everything was handled as he would want it done. On the day of the funeral, a Mass was celebrated at 10:00 am at the Italian Catholic Church in a nearby town. After Mass there was a committal service at the cemetery and it was at about this time that my father suffered another heart attack. I was totally unaware of his death at this time. I felt positive about the way everything went with the funeral.    When I returned to the funeral home I noticed a lot more cars were still in the parking lot. A lot more than there would be usually after a funeral. I really didn’t pay much attention to this until I saw my in-laws. They were the ones who told me that my father had died earlier that morning. By this time a lot of our family had gathered at my mother’s and suddenly I was thrust into a new role. I was not only a grieving son but the one whom everyone expected to handle the funeral. No one else was emotionally capable of handling the arrangements. My father had built a business upon the motto “A Service of Reverence and Dignity”. Life had dealt me a situation with very few choices. I could have shirked from this traumatic challenge and passed the responsibility to another funeral director or I could have taken the responsibility. I chose to handle it because it was the best way for me to honor him. I oversaw every detail of his funeral from the embalming to the graveside ceremony. I could not disappoint him and saw no other choice. All of my family were in agreement with this arrangement. It was not an easy task but one I never regretted having done. I have found great comfort knowing that I was able to give my father the type of funeral on which he prided himself to give to others. His funeral became, for me, a standard by which I could measure all other funerals that I would direct. By all other accounts it was done to near perfection and was one of the largest funerals and viewings ever to be held at our funeral home. In spite of the fact that his viewing was held the night before Labor Day, over one thousand people were in attendance. The funeral was held on Labor Day. The turnout was overwhelming. The fact that I could handle a funeral of this magnitude combined with the fact that it was my father’s funeral helped calm worries that began to surface in the community.