You Never Told Me Your Name

David surveyed the outdoors looking for signs of wind direction and speed to anticipate flying conditions. The surfer on the horizon caught his attention. His sporting image embodied freedom, boldly interacting with the elements as if it were his birthright to master them. David became irked by a twinge of envy that was tethered in the depths of his soul. He covered his jealousy with indignation. What nerve, he thought. Can’t we have the privacy of a back yard at least until spring? Though not actually trespassing, few ventured so far from the public boardwalk. David could not take his focus off the surfer. Even the liberty that flying afforded him did not compare with the pure joy that was emanating from the stranger’s play. A few minutes later the stranger retreated, carrying the board triumphantly with the waves lapping at his feet as if beckoning his return for another intimate moment. Gold from sunbeams sparkled on his wetsuit and his platinum locks lay heavily on his head like a crown. A sense of inferiority put David on edge. That man’s silhouette appeared brazenly to lay claim to the rumbling crests of the sea, the malleable land, and the bright morning sky. It was not the man, but his exuberant spirit that held David transfixed. When the figure turned his head up to follow the course of a pair of seagulls his profile was majestic, back lit by the sun’s sphere which had risen above the horizon like a stage light. David surmised he was still dreaming to be so caught up with the vision. It impressed a fiery brand on his conscience. None of his many achievements ever elevated David above his overshadowing lack of self-acceptance. He needed to know how a man became loosed from such bonds. David wished he’d stayed in the realm of their monastic home. He thought, It’s only a beach bum. His apparent liberty is an illusion. He couldn’t share such thoughts with anyone. His closest companion would not commiserate; rather he would ridicule him for letting anything as insignificant as a passing stranger catch his interest. Yet, David sensed that not even Saul’s intellectual supremacy could intimidate that surfer. This predator possessed far more cunning than Saul, staking territory that went beyond pride to his moral core. David conscience pricked him for envying this man’s joy, as the stranger arrived at the curb with disarming self-confidence. "Morning!" The man apparently felt David’s gaze on him and called out across the road while he fastened his surfboard. The bumper sticker read: Know Jesus, Know Peace/No Jesus, No Peace. David waved reflexively, still fighting to ignore the person. The surfer’s vehicle rattled to a start and drove off. Though only five minutes had passed, the event left David with deep concerns about where he stood on his moral foundation. He knew: Thou shall not covet. The more he pursued religious knowledge, the more it burdened him with a sense of inadequacy. He toppled inward under the load of his aspirations to enlightenment. That Christian possessed what he wanted without knowing any of the disciplines he practiced. "What’s keeping Sarah?" David asked, clueless, to the empty air.