Weeping Willow
Volume One: Welcome to River Bend
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Lee looked at him for a very long time, trying to jump tracks. He decided to put his confusion aside and be nice to his friend.
“I’ve never heard of a food hangover. What’s it feel like?”
Peter looked at him through the red veins in his eyeballs, shook his head softly, stroked his beard, then took stock.
“My head hurts.”
“That sounds familiar.”
“And I feel like I need to sweat grease. My stomach is sort of trying to churn but there isn’t any room. My skin feels doughy, my eyes hurt. My legs feel full. My heart is pumping cheese instead of blood. My fingers feel fat and I can’t make a fist. I’m thirsty but I’m too full to drink.” He took a sip of Tang and sighed. “My shirt is rubbing very unpleasantly against my back. I want to sleep, but even if I were home in bed, I wouldn’t be able to lie on my stomach or my back or my sides. If I stretched out straight, it would stretch my stomach too much. If I pulled my legs up in a fetal position it would squish my stomach too much. Standing takes too much energy and sitting is very uncomfortable. And my head hurts. Maybe a piece of dry toast will settle my stomach.”
Lee was unsure, but put a slice of bread into the toaster.
“Want some Alka Seltzer?”
“Oh, no,” Peter said, and looked a little gray. “That would make me throw up.”
“Wouldn’t that be good?”
“I hate throwing up. I haven’t thrown up since I saw Last Tango in
“Last Tango in
“Have you seen it?”
Lee shook his head.
“Don’t.”
Twain thunked the little bell and put Kim and Abby’s order on the window ledge. Lee was thankful for the interruption. He took the plates to them. He set the plates down and stood there, trying to think of something to say. He couldn’t, so he went back behind the counter.
“And my feet are throbbing,” Peter said. “And so are my fingernails. And I can’t breath through my nose.”
“I don’t understand it,” Lee said, looking at Kim, who unfolded her omelet and scraped the cheese and mushrooms out. Then she picked the mushrooms out of the cheese. Then
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Imagine a staid accountant from Chicago with a beige life forced to live in the attic of a diner owned by a man with questionable hygiene who has a prom carnation (and possibly Walt Disney) in his freezer, then reluctantly falling in with the local theater group (at least one of whom would spell it “theatre”) after his wife falls for another man and empties his bank account. Follow Lee Harris, who desperately tries to make sense of a new life that seems perversely committed to thwarting his efforts. You’ll also follow the “writers”, Geoff (the man with the world’s largest head) and Steve (who thinks Othello is a board game), who banter, argue and comment throughout the narrative.
About the Author
Geoff Hoff has been a dishwasher, actor, manic depressive, librarian, pizza slinger, life of the party, computer consultant, acting teacher, picture framer, standup comic, perennial uncle and pseudo-intellectual. Since meeting Steve Mancini sometime in the last century, he has devoted himself to showy, pretentious wordplay. He currently lives in Steve Mancini spent his early life in