HOW TO BE AN EVEN GREATER HUSBAND

INTRODUCTION

Why would a young man, entering marriage, set as his lifetime goal, his highest priority, his ultimate dream -- to be the best husband ever?  A bit unusual, to say the least.  Most males approaching adulthood have more traditional though certainly very acceptable goals in life, such as to be a millionaire by age 30, to cure cancer, to be a TV star, to be a computer wizard, to marry Cybill Shepard, to be President of the United States, to invent something incredible, to walk on the moon - even to be the best father.  But to be the best husband??  How wimpy!  That is an achievement never bragged about, and if it is, sometimes the bragging is often to draw attention to some other accomplishment or evidence of power or wealth.  (For example, the guy who gives his wife an expensive diamond bracelet as a reminder to all that he just became CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation).  It is certainly not table talk amongst ordinary people as would be the dream of hitting a hole in one, or bowling a perfect game, or making a killing in the stock market.  Success as a husband usually is not a visible achievement, at least publicly, unless you count smiling faces and apparently contented individuals.  Often a great husband has problems with his contemporaries because of this particular obsession. He’s less available for poker games with the guys at night.  He’s less free in general, and often doesn’t act spontaneously without his wife’s input.  He often embarrasses less caring husbands when they’re together as couples.  In summary, he’s often less good a friend because by choice, his best friend, and sometimes his only close friend, is his wife.

Again, what would drive a man to get that special trophy given to a great husband? Furthermore, who will applaud him for it? (For sure, they don’t make too many trophies because of the lack of demand!)  Why would a man think along these lines?  What possible motivations would energize an individual to set out to be an extraordinary husband?  Is it to compensate for an unhappy childhood, or perhaps a home of origin filled with yelling and tension, or even wife abuse?  Is it that some men are born to serve and please another person to an extreme degree?  Is it the wife herself who creates her husband’s need to treasure her because she is needy or desperate for love, or because her manifestation of appreciation strikes some chord in her mate and drives him into even greater degrees of nurturing?  Is it that some males cannot get as much satisfaction in their work or other relationships to compare with the validation they get taking care of their wives?  Or is it simply just chemistry, wherein a man is so taken, so smitten with his bride that he is driven uncontrollably to worship her?

The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t make a difference.  If a man can work hard at being an expert husband, he will reap very generous rewards.  A woman who receives the caring and devotion and attention and unconditional love and time and support and entertainment and loyalty of her husband (whew!) will reward her hard working husband for his efforts every minute of his life. A loved woman (even more than a loved pup or a pet rock) will return her received love to her mate in geometric proportions.  Ironically, a woman, despite her inherent strength and while being created so perfectly, thank God, still has, as a possible flaw, an odd weakness, the need to be admired and adored by a man.  And when she gets that admiration and adoration, she will make her mate a lifetime lottery winner.