Parenting - Life Without Parole
Surviving Your Child's Addiction
by
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I hate to begin a book with disclaimers but, in the interest of full disclosure, I want to state that I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or professional counselor. I am just a “regular Joe” who, along with my wife as my chief editor, (she paid attention during English class, I didn’t) had our lives thrown into chaos when our son got involved in the illicit use of prescription drugs.
What follows is a compendium of issues that we went through and the steps that we took to address them. This information has sort of developed on the fly. We are recording events as they occur and including them into formal text as quickly as we can. We are documenting the things that we did that seemed to work and also talking about the approaches we took that did not bring the desired results.
Academics may scoff at some of our approaches but this is not academia, this is reality-real life. We do not need a lot of theory but practical applications to get us through our current crisis. Unfortunately, we find ourselves becoming pseudo “expert” in an area that we really never thought we would be in, and an area where we definitely did not wish to feel compelled to develop this expertise.
We can appreciate that everyone’s situation is different, but surely there are many areas of commonality. If we can assist you and provide insight into your struggle in the areas where we both have/had similar needs, then you will be able to devote more time to focus on your special circumstance areas. Hopefully we can provide a different perspective as you find yourself negotiating through these uncharted waters.
Simply by reading you are making a bold statement and taking an aggressive step in that you are now going to start taking control of your life again. You are going to rip your life back from the topsy-turvy state that your child’s addiction has placed it in.
Throughout this book you will discover segments prefaced by “A Personal Note”. What follows is a narrative on our own particular situation--the problems that arise, the victories, the defeats. These segments are spread throughout the book and the intent is to demonstrate that you are not alone in what you are going through. Other families, ours for example, have also had to endure similar struggles. Maybe in reading our narrative you will come to the conclusion that your situation is not as bad, or maybe that it is worse than ours. But when it is happening to you and affecting your family, the degree to which it is happening is not that important, the mere fact that it is happening at all is the critical factor.
At this point, we do not know the outcome of our son’s situation. Our hopes and prayers are for a happy ending, but we just don’t know. If our son is successful and is able to get his life back in order, or if he is unsuccessful, really has no bearing on the value or lack of value of these writings. Regardless of the outcome, we the family must survive and thrive. We must find the wisdom in the events that we experience and use that wisdom to the benefit of ourselves and the world around us.
We wish you the best of luck and, believe me; we do know what you are going through!
Why did God make a parent’s love so strong? Why is it that a parent stands by a child no matter the behavior or aggravation? Why is that as hard as parents try, they just can’t distance themselves from a child even when staying close brings heartache, embarrassment, a drain on finances, and the last of a good night’s sleep?
This is so different from the way we react and behave in other situations. I had a tooth that ached and ached and ached. The dentist tried a variety of things, fillings-then a root canal that had additional pain and discomfort associated with what was supposed to be the cure but did not completely alleviate the problem. Finally, I had it pulled. Within a matter of a few hours the problem was eliminated. The problem was gone for good! I could sleep uninterrupted for the first time in a long time. I could drink hot and cold beverages without pain. It was wonderful. I was distanced from the problem and have never given it a second thought. We, however, can’t extract ourselves from the particular condition that our kids are in. It is not a simple solution.
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About the Book
The Department of Health and Human Services estimates that there are 14 million Americans who use illegal drugs and perhaps 17 million Americans who are alcoholics or abuse alcohol. Shrapnel from each abuser’s actions impact the lives of countless family members, friends, and acquaintances significantly raising the toll attributable to this national crisis.
While there are a variety of programs geared to addressing the needs of the abuser and getting them on the road to recovery, too often the family and friends are left to fend for themselves. “Parenting-Life Without Parole” provides both a practical and Christian based perspective on how those impacted by the abuser’s choices can learn to cope with the multitude of challenges they are facing.
About the Author
The author’s qualifications stem from the experiences he gained as a result of his son’s abuse of prescription drugs. This book was written contemporaneously with his son’s battle to overcome this addiction and contains personal insight in to the complex recovery process.