Pretend No More

Introduction

It’s been said that mental and emotional abuse are worse than physical abuse.  From my experience, the mental and emotional abuse inevitably accompanied the physical.  I am recovering from the trauma and damage of domestic violence.  This book of poetry and sketches is my healing process.  I am by no means even halfway healed but if I had not turned my reflective writing into a creative process, using poetic form and sketches, I would have not healed as much as I have thus far.  This creative process has probably saved me from being enticed into unhealthy vices like drugs and alcohol.  There’s no doubt that I am healing.  I now experience more positive days than negative ones.  But I know I have a long way to go.  I can be having a really positive day, when it can go sour and bitter in an instant.  One morning on my way to work, I happened to stop behind a car with a bumper sticker that read , “THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.”  I burst into tears and cried all the way to work.  I want to experience less and less of these negative days.  My heart aches to write happy poetry instead of angry ones.  It is my hope that this book will empower people to use their courage to get out of their abusive relationship.  Also, it is my hope that this book will wake up those who are raising hateful, angry and unruly children.  Some people may take offense to the strong language used in my writings but that’s okay.  I had a long inner struggle concerning my use of foul language.  This was especially a concern because I am a school teacher who emphasizes character education and the importance of practicing good manners and social skills.  I decided against changing the language because changing it would have meant losing my voice and weakening its effectiveness.  Afterall, those words came from my angry heart, as a part of my healing process.  In otherwords, I had to “Keep it real.”