The village’s
political cadre invited us to see a wedding. We couldn’t drive there, so we
walked two hours to reach the place. All the villagers had gathered and the
young women were drinking local liquor distilled from sorghum and millet. They
gave us some to taste and it was very strong. The young men of the village had
been in the nearby forest for three days, preparing strong sticks, which they
would use to beat the young women. After the women got drunk, they went close
to the forest and called to the young men and teased them to come and beat
them. The young men rushed out and beat the young women until their backs were
bloody, but the young women teased the young men and said they had not done it
well. The men kept beating them. We could see the bloody welts from the
distance. As people watched, they shouted for more and tougher beatings. It was
very disturbing to me and if I had had the power I would have stopped it right
there.
Eventually, the
young men went back to the forest and the women back to their drinks. After
about an hour, the men came out of the forest again and went to a house for
food and drink. Women came out of the house and shouted for more beatings and
were beaten again. The belief was that women who weren’t beaten that day would
not be beloved by the bridegrooms. The issue would come up whenever there was
any misunderstanding.
Next, the men
headed for an open field. There were 11 oxen, standing in rows. Their backs
were covered with fresh animal excrement, making them slippery. The bridegroom
stood naked on one side of the oxen. He jumped on top of the first ox in the
row, then ran across the backs of the rest, then jumped to the ground on the
other side. Then he jumped back on the last ox, ran to the other end, and
jumped down. Villagers congratulated him for crossing without failing off. Now
he would go and live in the forest until he met the woman he wanted for his
bride. He would always have food with him, and when he found the woman he
wanted, he would take hold of her and put the food in her mouth. She would know
what he meant and would sit down with him and tell him her name, something
about her family, where she lived, and other personal information. Then he
would go home and tell his parents that he had found the right woman. The two
families would arrange the marriage without any more ceremony.
We stayed late
into the night. The men were naked from the waist up and had painted their
bodies with white stripes, making them look like zebras. They danced, jumping
very high. Their bodies looked they had been crafted by artisans.
The new husband
would now begin to face a series of challenges. His wife would ask him for goat
meat from another tribe and he will have to go and raid that tribe. She will
ask him for milk from Kenya and he will have to make a cattle raid into Kenya. He
could die doing that, but it was part of his responsibility as a husband. Some
other tribes in Ethiopia and Kenya have the same custom. Being a husband in those tribes was very
risky and I didn’t envy the men.