In The Shadow of His Cross

My picture perfect life was not perfect anymore.  All the beautiful colors were fading away and there was darkness instead of a rainbow.  The storm clouds were gathering all around me on every side.  It attacked me as an angry foe and it took me prisoner against my will.  It tossed me to and fro and overwhelmed me.  The storm was raging out of control. I was scared, sad, shocked, and so many anxieties and fears were rising up in my head. I could run, or scream but it would not take the cancer away.  I found my quiet time with God and I remembered his words in the book of John 14:18  KJV  “I will not leave you comfortless:  I will come to you.”  There is a story about Jesus and his disciples in the book of Mark 4:35-41 KJV.  Jesus told his disciples to pass over to the other side.  They were in a ship and a great storm of wind came and the waves beat the ship.  Jesus was asleep in the hinder part of the ship.  The disciples were so afraid and they awoke him and asked him, “Master carest thou not that we perish?” So, Jesus arose and rebuked the wind and said unto the sea, “Peace, be still.”  And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.  Then Jesus asked them, “Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?” I believe we are all given a measure of faith and we must exercise that faith for it to increase and become stronger.  I was about to learn a lot about storms and faith.

In the midst of chemo and radiation treatments God was always with me.  I remember those days, nights, months and I know that he carried me.  The treatments and drugs left me feeble, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  When I was weak, God was strong. Late at night when everyone was sleeping, he would stand by my bedside and we would weep together.  When the morphine clouded my thoughts he would sit beside me and talk with me and when I was weary and restless, he would sing to me softly, “thru many dangers, toils and snare, I have already come; tis grace that bro’t me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”  (Amazing Grace)  God ministered to me in the stillness of the night.  I would open my eyes in the morning light and he was there.  A still, small voice would say, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I trusted him and he delivered me over and over again.  “The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation.”  Exodus 15:2 KJV

What is your bitter cup to drink?  How heavy is your cross today?  Sure, it would be easier to give up than to press on but there are people who need you.  You can make a difference in someone else’s life.  Every life touches another.  The devil will tell you that you are not worth anything and that nobody cares about you, that is just a lie.  Jesus loves you and he will help you carry that heavy cross. He will be there when no one else is.  He needs disciples, young and old, male and female, sick and healthy, he needs you to share his love with others wherever your journey leads you. 

Psalms 148:12-13 KJV  “Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children; Let them praise the name of the Lord; for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven.”  We all have a place in the kingdom of God.  There is work for all to do.  The choice is yours.  Take the part that God gives you today and make the best of it.  Give him all you have to give and he will bless you all the days of your life.