To Build A Lifetime

So many voices around me, eyes looking at me, tubes above me, strange voices, people speaking in words that were not familiar to me at all.

I tried to open my eyes wide, but it hurt. I kept them closed and listened.  There were a lot of noises around me, I was trying to make out anything that seemed familiar to me but it all seemed so strange. 

As I closed my eyes images kept forming in my mind but I did not know what they meant. I did not know who the people around me were.  One face was clear to me.  It was the face of a woman and she was smiling at me.  Her eyes were friendly; her smile told me that we had a relationship that was very close.  She seemed to be talking to me but I could not understand what she was saying.

I drifted in and out of sleep; I had no idea how long I had been there. I looked up and realized that the tubes were attached to my arm.  A woman approached me; she looked at my face and asked me if I was in pain.  “Yes I am, my head is aching.”

She went away and came back carrying with a tray, she set it down and lifted her arms above me. My eyes hurt when I tried to look up so I was not sure what she was doing above my head. Whatever she did the pain seemed to subside again. I closed my eyes to the bright lights as my eyes hurt to look up towards them.

The lady who had been smiling at me returned. I realized that this person was my mother. She still seemed to be trying to tell me something. I was still trying to understand her, but I couldn’t. Her smile gave me the reassurance that I would be ok despite this unfamiliar room with so many strange people around me.  

“Don’t worry Rob, all will be fine, you are coming to see me.  I cannot wait to see you again,” she said, in such a peaceful and calm manner. She was wearing a pale pink suit and had a most calming effect on me. I opened my eyes slowly to avoid the bright light.

“It won’t be long now, Rob, and everything will be fine.”

I listened and felt comforted by her words.  I searched my mind for where we were going together.  A blank space seemed to meet me whenever I try to think about anything at all.  

I looked up and around; the walls were white, the floor was white and there were a lot of beds around. There was a group of people in white coats standing a small distance from where I was lying.  As I tried to focus on where I was, I sensed a strong white smell. I say ‘white’ because it smelled so clean and fresh in the room.  In fact, when I looked further, the word white kept coming to me – the walls, the coats, the smell, even their faces. All seemed so pale.  They had black tubes around their neck and as I looked at them I noticed that they were looking at me. 

“Madame Rulli, how are you?” One of the men had approached me and stood beside my bed putting his face very near to my own. He seemed to be searching deep into my eyes for something.

I answered him “My head still hurts a lot and my eyes are difficult to open.  Where am I?”

The man looked at me and smiled; his smile seemed as though he was a friend so I smiled back hoping that he could help me with an understanding of where I was.

“You had an operation and are now in the recovery room.”

He walked away, I felt disappointed as his response seemed to tell me that he really didn’t care that I didn’t know where I was nor what was happening to me.

An operation?  What was an operation?  Why was I recovering?

Now some of the people in white coats were huddled a small distance from where I was lying.  They were speaking with words that I could not understand.

Why couldn’t I recognize these words?  Where was this place? What was I doing here?

The smiling face of Mum came back to me.  I closed my eyes in the hope that she would speak to me and tell me where I was.

I must have dozed off again and as I was sleeping I heard Mum assuring me not to worry and all would be fine.