Another Tomorrow

Jeff became really discouraged emotionally.  Daily he weakened and it came time where he could no longer work his post office route.  He hated to give it up.  Soon he was not strong enough to get out of bed except bathroom trips, etc., which turned into a major production. 

He told me at this time that he was no longer afraid to die as he had been a few years before after his first operation.  He was at peace with the Lord.  To me it seemed at times that he was getting excited about it.  He would sing more songs about heaven and "going home". 

At first he was in much pain also, experimenting to get the right level of pain medicine to work.  Most of the time it wore off much too early.  Finally it seemed that he got the dose that would control the pain.  The main side effect of the pain medication was constipation that only added to his discomforts.

One day I went to the grocery store and a friend recognized me and turned and went the other way down the aisle.  I found out later that she just did not know what to say and felt bad to see me.  She was hoping that I didn't notice her, but I did and that hurt. 

I went back to the house and asked Jeff to tell me what he would say to someone who has cancer and is dying.  His response surprised me and still does:  "Tell them they can know the comfort of Jesus even in their physical suffering."  I said, "Huh? I had never known that."  He replied. "Because you have never had to, but if you did He would be able to comfort you."  I would experience that comfort later, but it would be emotional, not physical.

One night Jeff asked me to call the pastor and have the elders come and lay hands on him.  They were faithful and came.  It was a good time of fellowship and actually a time of last good-byes.  Only one of them ever came to the house to visit Jeff again.  Very few friends came by to visit.  I have since learned that most of them just did not know what they would say or how to say it or they might break down crying. 

Please--if you get nothing else from reading this book--if you have a dying friend just "be there" for them.  You don't need to say anything.  It hurts more when you aren't there.  Let them know that you care enough to be with them, to share with them.