THE ENEMY IS ME
by
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“I’m serious about the million dollars, Dr. Berman. When my daughter is well and her weight is normal for her height, I will donate one million dollars to this hospital. I also want someone trained in eating disorders to be with her from when she wakes until she goes to bed. And I want a daily report on her progress. Not much sense making all the dough I’ve made if I don’t use it to save my daughter’s life.”
“We’ll do all we can for Lisa. I’ll take a personal interest in her case and certainly look forward to the day you write us that check for a million dollars because it will mean your daughter is well. I know how concerned you are, Mr. Abrams and we’ll do everything in our power to make her better.”
* * * * *
I believe Elaine tried not to be bitter but it came out. I was putting on my pajamas; Elaine was already in bed. “You were never here for dinner. The most important time to be with your children and you were never here.”
“Would it help if I told you I was wrong? I should have been there. It doesn’t change a damn thing but I’m sorry.”
I told her about my meeting with Doctor Berman and what was happening.
“You think you can buy anything, don’t you?”
And so it went. Even a gentile wife can make you feel damn guilty, especially when she's right.
* * * * *
They started feeding Lisa intravenously. Elaine and I went to the hospital every day. We watched as our daughter declined and became weaker. I tried, God knows, I tried to save my little girl.
I begged her to eat but to no avail.
“What’s happening to her hair? Her skin is brittle, even her fingernails are rotting,” I asked Dr. Berman.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “Her body’s using whatever nutrients it can find to sustain her life, give her energy.”
The harder I fought to save her, the more Lisa struggled for control. Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn’t intervened. Toward the end, she was bedridden and suffered from memory loss. We sat by her side that last morning.
“I’m sorry, Mommy.”
Elaine nodded unable to speak. She sat next to the bed holding Lisa’s hand. I knelt next to my wife and watched the liquid drip into my daughter’s emaciated arm.
“Don’t give up, darling. Please,” I begged.
But she was gone. She closed her eyes and I could see her struggle cease. Elaine sat still holding her hand as the nurse called for a doctor.
I wept.
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About the Book
Peter Abrams is the father of four daughters and an illegitimate son. He swears he'll never be like his father, a Jewish workaholic who was always too busy for his boys. Mr. Abrams disowns Peter when he falls in love and marries a Catholic woman. Peter promises himself he will spend time with his family and give them the love he never had, but once he tastes success, he becomes everything he loathed in his father. Peter stops at nothing to build an empire for a family he's destined to lose.
About the Author
Donald Silverman's first novel, The Event, was a finalist in the Ernest Hemingway First Novel Contest.
Silverman's daughters share his passion for writing. Susan, a rabbi, has written a book about parenting. Sarah and Laura are stand-up comic/actresses who have appeared in numerous TV shows and movies. Jody has written a screenplay.
In addition to writing, Silverman
is committed to various social causes such as Child Health Services where he
served on the board for many years. He also was a Guardian Ad Litem and instituted and runs the mentoring program at
a group home, The Haven, in