Human Cages

Late one Friday night after lights were out, David found himself wide awake.  His mind was operating at the speed of light.  He was reflecting on his past year of life.  He had been so frightened and overwhelmed, as well as angry about his being forced into Juvenile.  At the time, he had believed this was the worse thing that could happen to him; now he realized though it had not been fun, he had learned a lot and developed some sense of self and peace within his life.  He was really anxious to be released and resume life with Daniella and Shaq.  He wanted to spend time with his son; he remembered how he had been his most content when he was a preschooler and had been able to spend more time with his dad.  As the years passed, he had less physical time with his dad.  Deep inside, he had always known his dad was there for him, but sometimes this did not pierce his conscious thought processes.  Sometimes, he felt unloved and betrayed by his father because he was so seldom at home.  Now that he was officially entering adulthood and had his own child, he realized his father was simply doing the best he could to support his family.  He now knew his over the road trucking job was not to escape the family, but was to actually take care of them.

As David thought about his family, he realized how much he missed them and wondered how much of Shaq’s life he had really missed out.  Initially, he had thought it would not matter to Shaq since he was just a baby.  He had been sentenced here when Shaq was just a few weeks old; it amazed him now when Daniella would bring the baby to visitation to see him crawling, then toddling to a stand and then walking on uncertain legs.  David was becoming very anxious to get out of here and make sure his baby knew he was his daddy.  It still worried him sometimes that Shaq might think Nelson was his dad. This thought was so unacceptable, David shook his head and thought how this could not be-no one, not even a baby would choose Nelson over him.

*****

As David entered the building that was soon to serve as his world, he felt really bad. He had been so angry and full of rage at what he considered injustices of his life the last few months before he was arrested. He had completed almost all five years of probation and would have been free, but he let his discontent and need to be fully in control of his life get the best of him. His arrest had almost been a comedy of errors.  David had gotten so cocky about being able to take inventory as he felt like it and sell it for whatever price he desired.  He was amazed, but felt empowered at the price he could get on the street for parts.  He did not know what his customers used the parts for and he did not care.  The only time he felt powerful and in control was when he would make a sale without being caught and then would be able to give his son anything he wanted.

He and Daniella had fought more towards the end because she was so concerned about him.  He, however, had so much rage within, he could not come out of that dark place long enough to examine his behaviors and moods.  He had become overconfident and had stopped using caution.  He actually got caught selling stolen goods to an undercover cop and one who inquired if materials could be melted down for silver and/or to make a gun.  David had been so unconcerned; he had said ‘sure, sure, do what you want. Now where is my money?’ When he realized he had messed up, he actually tried to run, as if he thought that would work.  When he was tackled, a box cutter and knife fell out of his pockets.  He was arrested for having weapons on his person, attempting to illegally sell stolen goods and for resisting arrest.  This, of course, all led to violation of probation and these additional charges were added to his original ones.