All's Fair in Love & War

We pulled up in the parking lot to the movie theatre around eleven.  The lot was packed but I managed to find an open spot far out in the last parking section.  Alicia and I hopped out of the Expo and stepped to the movies.  We got closer to the theatre.  I saw three young black women heading in our direction.  I couldn’t really make out their faces in the dark but their silhouettes were so appealing that I couldn’t take my eyes away from them.  The closer we got to them, the more I could hear curse words coming from their mouths.  Anger was in their steps.  They were storming down the parking lot in our direction.  I was startled when I thought I heard one of the sistas shout my name.  I stopped in my tracks when I made out their faces.  It was N’dia, Tamika, and Peaches.  My nerves intensified dramatically as I prepared for verbal combat.  There was no getting around it.  I was caught up and had to stand up to them like a real man.  I took a deep breath and got ready for the verbal assault.  Alicia took four more steps until she noticed that I had stopped walking behind her. 

She turned around and said, “Why did you stop?” 

“Go on ahead.  I’ll be there in a sec.”  N’dia and here henchwomen were standing directly in front of me. 

“Come on over here, sista,” N’dia told Alicia.  “I need to get down to the bottom of this.”

Alicia walked over and said to them, “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m his wife!  The question is, who the hell are you,” N’dia shot back.  All the women including Alicia had their hands on their hips.  That was like the universal confrontation stance of black women all over the world. 

“I’m his girl,” Alicia told her.  I can’t believe Alicia was adding lighter fluid to the fire by lying to N’dia about our friendship.

“No, she is not my girl.  She’s my friend,” I interjected.

“What are you doing taking another woman to the movies?  I’m your wife!  You should be taking me to the movies, not some other bitch!” N’dia angrily said.

“Who you calling bitch?” Alicia angrily responded. 

“Little girl, you better keep your mouth shut, cause we ain’t but a hop, skip, and a jump from jumping your ass,” Tamika warned.  Alicia rolled her eyes, turned up her lips, and looked off elsewhere. 

“Roll your eyes if you want to.  Shouldn’t you be at home doing homework, little girl?  It’s past your curfew,” Peaches sarcastically responded.

“Whatever.  I’m grown,” Alicia said. 

“Look N’dia, your beef ain’t with her.  Your beef is with me.  Leave Alicia out of it,” I said. 

“Okay then.  What are you doing taking her on a date?” N’dia asked me. 

“The last two times I was at the house you acted like you didn’t give a damn about me.  I figured you had someone else keeping you satisfied, so you didn’t need me anymore,” I said.  “Fuck it.  I decided to get on with my life, N’dia.  If you don’t want me anymore, I know other women that might.”

“I’m your wife, Ahmad.  You were treating me like your girlfriend.  You would come over.  I’d cook and clean.  Wham bam thank you mam and you was out,” N’dia said. 

“Whatever, N’dia.  I’m tired of your petty games.  Grow up,” I said. 

“You need to grow up,” she replied, before she shoved me in the chest.  I took a few steps back and almost lost my balance.

“No you didn’t just push me,” I said, angrily.  “If I pushed you back hard, you’d call 911 and I’d be off to jail, so I’m not sweating it.”