HEALING THE HURT

After years of counseling from a Christian perspective, I am finding that many of those whom I counsel are in physical or psychological pain.  Very often, the physical pain comes from deep spiritual and psychological issues that have not been faced and resolved.  Rejection, abuse, and abandonment often result, not only in spiritual or psychological crises, but physical ones as well.

Inez was referred to me by a local physician.  The victim of a serious automobile accident, she had spent months in physical recovery.  In the later phases of her therapy, she experienced pain in her body that could not be traced to any physical cause. She had begun to have flashbacks to a very painful and abusive past.  We began to work through lots of “inner child” issues and after many sessions of dealing with her spiritual and psychological issues, I remarked that she had not mentioned the physical pain for which she had entered counseling. Her remark was, “It’s gone!”  Relief of pain in spirit and soul had brought about physical healing.  These sessions took place several years ago and there has been no recurrence of her pain.

It is important to note that this chapter is not about parent bashing.  Parents in one’s family of origin functioned according to their own maturity as individuals.  They were influenced by the residual effects of their own past experiences, and the stresses of life they faced during each particular stage of their development.

When needs for both gratification and frustration are adequately met in each stage, children accomplish emotional growth tasks successfully.  They are then ready and free to grapple with the tasks and challenges of the next stage.  The more stable the personality becomes during each stage, the easier it will be to move on to the next one.  However, if excessive frustration is faced by youngsters within one stage, they may fail to accomplish the developmental tasks for that period.  Thus progress is hindered toward the next stage.

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Responding to the actions of his brother, William withdrew into himself and became a very private person, not expressing his feelings to family or friends.    He refused to attend college and he became extremely critical of societal institutions, particularly in the areas of education, politics and religion.  William became fiercely independent, hardworking and sought to free himself from any emotional involvement with his family.

The parents’ approaches to the problems of their children were quite different.  One parent wanted to “kick Dick out” and the other felt sorry for him and allowed him to continue behaving irresponsibly. The pain in the lives of these young men had a long lasting effect on both parents.  Eventually the strain was so great that the parents contemplated separation and divorce.   It was the marital trouble that brought them into counseling.

Whenever we experience pain in one aspect of our being, it affects other areas.  There is often spiritual or psychological pain before physical pain is evident.  Stresses within one’s personality often cause the body to fall victim to diseases it otherwise has the capability to overcome.

We live in a time where the body is looked at as more than a free standing mechanistic instrument that allopathic medicine can fix.  Psycho-spiritual entities must be brought into play as well.

Emotional dysfunction that has been a pattern for several generations may ultimately express itself through physical symptoms.  Many physical illnesses are the result of emotional and spiritual crises that occur in lives that experience a lack of love and family involvement.

Adults, who as children were not allowed to develop emotionally, have an “inner child” who often expresses itself in disorders such as phobias, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, sexual dysfunction.  Physical ailments such as respiratory, intestinal, muscle and nerve disorders can often be directly traced to psychological trauma.  Persons who experience these diseases need to recognize that symptoms can have meaning for one spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.