The Adventures of Donald Fincher

“Great,” Donald chuckled. “So what brings you to the wonderful city of Cleveland and the

fabulous Quixote restaurante?”

“Doing autographs at a grocery store opening,” she nodded. “Grabbing a bite to eat, catching a

flight for a little vacation.”

“Really?” Donald asked. “A grocery store, huh?”

“Yup,” she blushed.  “It’s a requirement in my contract.  Public appearances sub-section 4A. It’s to help get my face out and promote the show. You’d think being on a daily television soap opera and a major motion picture would be exposure enough.  Suffice it to say, my agent is trying to get my contract re-worked.” ”

“I see,” Donald agreed.

“It’s fun though,” she grinned. “It’s nice to see people who like you without knowing anything about you.  It’s comforting in a weird way.”

He took that moment to really look at her. It was like a moment hadn’t passed between the last time he’d seen her. She smiled at him softly, and rested her chin on her hand.

“Donald Fincher,” she purred. “Long time no see. How have you been?”

Donald shrugged, “Ok, I guess. Haven’t had any anvils fall on me yet.”

Dharma smiled in delighted confusion, “That's always a plus.  You look good.  It actually looks

like you need to shave every now and then.”

“Funny,” Donald sneered playfully, “it’s a wonder what six years can do to an undeveloped

teenager.”

He looked at her, and they both seemed to be lost in the moment, “I thought you had your freckles surgically removed?” he teased.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “I wish I had.  Have to spend so much time covering them.”

“What?” Donald harped. “There’s only a few under your eyes, and I think they’re cute.”

“Well, you always were a little weird,” she said good-naturedly. “So what has the great Donald Fincher been up to the last six years?”

Donald cleared his throat and looked around before answering, “A little schooling, some bill paying, bull fighting, won the Indy 500, cured cancer, but that was last week. This week has been kind of slow.”

Dharma gave him the playful smirk he remembered so well, “Really Donald, you should get

off your ass and do something for Christ’s sake.”

Donald nodded in agreement.

“So, seriously,” she prodded, “what are you doing with your life right now?”

Donald chuckled to himself, “If you would have asked me two days ago I could have given you a normal answer.  Now, I’m not so sure.”

“Oh come on, Don,” she pressed. “Since you scared off my date for the second the least you can

do is keep me entertained.”

“I doubt I scared him off,” Donald replied. “It’s kind of a long story, anyway.”

“So give me the abridged version then,” Dharma said as she began wiping stray ice off the table.

“Well,” Donald said, as he leaned closer and lowered his voice, “this morning I woke up and  found out that reality was slowly collapsing in on itself.  As a matter of fact, if the scientists who

found me don’t close the rips soon, there’s no telling what could happen next.  They need my help because I can see these changes that occur around me that nobody else notices.  But lately, I’ve been attacked by sexy lady androids and almost hit by a car and been mistaken for a homeless person.  Right now, I’m waiting for someone to find me and tell me what I need to do next.”

He exhaled heavily and noticed that Dharma was staring at him wide-eyed.  She had stopped

moving too.

“That’s, um,” she stuttered. “That’s very interesting. That’s the short story huh?”

“Yup,” Donald answered as he casually leaned back into the chair. “I would tell you the long version, but there’s a good chance one of us might pop out of existence before I finish.”