Girls. . . Just Let Your Mascara Run

Well, what can I say? You never want a man that wears more gold than you do. He will probably skip payments on the phone and light bills just to buy another chain for his neck. The one I especially love is the chain with the gold medallion the size of a butter lid. For your anniversary, I can see you buying him another gold chain-- and he takes you out to Whataburger for their double meat, double cheeseburger. “That’s okay honey, splurge-- it’s your night.  After this, we’ll go down to the Sawdust Palace and I’ll spin you around like a top. Then we can go home so you can take care of me.” This brings to mind that you may not want a future with anyone who tells you that you are cuter than a speckled pup, or cuter than a June bug, unless he is just being funny.

Another special look for a man is the muscle shirt. Nicole calls them “wife beater shirts.” Any man that thinks he needs to show off his body will probably be self centered, self-serving, and a skirt chaser. There are exceptions to every rule. Just remember to check it out.

Beware of the man whose idea of a fun vacation is to float in an inner tube with a six- pack tied to it. This man probably has a skin crease above his belt in back and wears his belt buckle at a forty-five degree angle. He thinks he and his dog are blood relatives. After all, they both can stop in their tracks and go on point.

The artwork on his walls is made of various beer caps glued together and a self-made curtain in the doorway to his bedroom is made with chains of beer tabs. “They look as good as those beads.” His bed is on blocks and matches his entertainment center. There is a pyramid of different beer bottles on one wall and bottles of colored water in his kitchen window, one with a potato vine growing out of it. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy that can’t eat without having greasy fingers and grease glistening around his mouth, and he uses his shirt for a napkin. After dinner, there will be enough air come out of him to power a windmill which could run your lights and stove for days. A little household tip here would be to keep your grill tank next to his Barkalounger. You could trap enough methane to grill a brisket.

Villains can sneak in our homes disguised as so many characters and situations. They love to show up in the form of money and what we have and don’t have at any given time.  We can paint our own pictures as to what money we feel we deserve, what is his, mine, ours. So often, when we are in that euphoric state before marriage, we may cover a few of the basics about money--we want it--want to make as much as we can, so that we have all the trapping to enjoy. Okay--check, check--we are on the same page here. He falls just right on my “husband wish list.” But when we get into the marriage, and especially when the child or children have arrived, we find that the cost of living was totally different than we ever realized. There are these budget things that keep getting in the way. Our parents didn’t seem to have these things, and the cost of living has gone up; but surely we can make enough to do everything we ever dreamed of in our “marriage made in heaven.”