You May Be a Lard Ass

Please allow me to preface this collection of cartoons with a heartfelt disclaimer.  It is not my intent to be insensitive to the very real difficulties faced by those people struggling with being overweight.  Being overweight is replete with health as well as social problems.  I did not create this book to ridicule nor hurt the feelings of anyone.  I have a bit of insight into the ramifications of being overweight, stocky, pleasingly plump, obese or just plain old fat.

In 1970 I contracted what is now called Hepatitis C.  In those days they called it “Non A / Non B Chronic Active Hepatitis.”  All the doctors could tell me was that it was incurable and, oh yea, eventually fatal.  I was fortunate to have relatively few problems with my liver for a couple decades.  Then in late 1989 my liver decided it was ready to make me pay for the sins of my youth.  In my case one of the side effects of end stage liver disease was the sharp drop in energy levels and a reduced metabolic rate.  This caused me to gain over 135 pounds in about 14 months.  I was never really what would be called thin.  However I had always been able to lead a fairly active lifestyle.  I skied in Aspen, fished in the Alaskan wilderness, bodysurfed in Hawaii.  But these activities, not to mention my love life were reduced to nil.  In the early 90’s I was told that I would need a liver transplant.  I was placed on “The List.”  I was no longer able to work and soon found myself on disability.  This book grew out of the need to deal with the mental aspects of my dwindling quality of life, and my relentlessly, expanding shadow.

I am still on the list awaiting a transplant.  I have also kept up the struggle to gain control of my weight.  I still have my good days and my bad days.  It has been about two years since my last hospitalization.  At present I have managed to lose 97 pounds.  However I am still working to lose that final pesky 70 to 80 extra pounds.

I would say that my sense of humor is the largest single factor in my ability to rebound as far as I have.  The ability to laugh in the face of adversity may not cure you but it certainly makes the experience more tolerable.  These pages represent my refusal to allow my waistline to weigh me down.

Carl Anthony “Tony” Clay, September 24, 1948 – April 5, 2002

The first thing I want to do as the “Little Sister” as he used to call me is to thank Amber Olmstead, Dale Preston, Steve Foot and 1st Books for publishing this book.  I made a promise after my baby brother passed away to have it published, some way, and 1st Books has done that for me.  The reason I am so bent on having this book published is so I may donate part of the proceeds to the Hepatitis C Research Center in memory of Tony.  I know if you take time to read this publication it will make you laugh.

This little book is a combination of the humor and the imagination that Tony often shared with all of us.  We might say that his “Humor” was the strongest part of his identity, but, we all knew that he was, in fact, a person of much broader attributes.  He passed through his life in various mediums of accomplishments, some of which were his writing, his music, and his concern and caring of others and their ways of life.  He always speculated on other avenues of discovery, but, really never lingered long enough to achieve his dreams.  His goals, which were varied and diversified, had always been a source of amazement to those who listened in on his life’s plan.  As his sister, I have always had an extremely close bond of affection and I hope that in having his book for others to share his “Wit” it will indeed bring one of his main goals (which he didn’t have quite enough time to complete) to be finalized.