God, Do You Exist?
The Questions of a Curious Agnostic
by
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THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
(Revised Plain-English Version)
Hey Moses! Listen up!! This is God. I have some important stuff to tell you, and I want you to relay it to all of your people:
First of all, I am the best God there is. So don't go looking for a better one. For reasons you wouldn't understand I won't show Myself to you to prove it. I am just telling you.
You better believe what I just said! If you don't, I will persecute you and all your descendants, even your innocent great-grandchildren. You heard what I did to Adam and Eve; so you know what I can do to the innocent, but stupid, people I have created.
Don't try to tell Me what to do or what not to do. That isn't the way it works. The way it works is that I tell you what to do. I'll do what I want to do no matter what you say or pray.
Sunday is My day, and you better not forget it! I would appreciate a little bowing and scraping on Sundays to honor My vanity, but don't do anything to disturb Me.
Well, that's all the really important stuff; but here are a few more things you should know:
Be respectful to your parents. I'm not saying you have to love them, but you better show respect. Later I'll send Someone to talk with you about love and how to treat your children and neighbors and enemies. For now you'll just have to do the best you can.
I don't want you to go around killing people willy-nilly. I've created some enemies that I may need your help to deal with (such as heretics, witches, homosexuals, abortionists, etc.), but I'll give you specific instructions concerning them when the time comes. Meantime, don't kill anyone unless I tell you to. Until then, let Me do it!
Don't fool around with another man's wife. His daughters and sisters and other females are okay as long as they're not married.
Stealing another man's property is also out! If you can grab it first, okay. But once he gets it, it's his. Stealing a woman's property? Let Me think about that some more.
Lying about your neighbor is also out. Other lies, if they serve My purposes, may be okay. But watch it!
Don't sit around leering at another man's wife, and don't go slobbering over anything else he has. I'm not really concerned about your wife making eyes at your neighbor's husband. Since I intend you to be the head of your family, I leave that up to you.
P. S. I almost forgot! You may want to try posting the above information in your public schools to see if it will make children moral. That is just a Suggestion, not a Commandment.
The above “translation” will be viewed as a revolting parody of the Ten Commandments by many people, if not most. And they will be correct. It is intended to be so! Sometimes it is necessary to look at things from an extreme viewpoint in order to illuminate their limitations. In the case of the Commandments several things are brought out by doing so.
The first four Commandments command us to honor and worship a god and have nothing to say about morality. Worse yet, that god is self-described in those very Commandments as a jealous, vainglorious (“Thou shalt have no other --.”) and vindictive being (“I will punish --. unto the third and fourth generations“) who inspires fear rather than love or compassion.
The rest of the Commandments give us some rather shallow rules of conduct which do not cover most of the things we need to do in order to live in peace and harmony with each other. But they do not even mention, let alone try to command, love and forgiveness and compassion. Perhaps that is because those things cannot be commanded but must arise in our hearts on their own. Nevertheless, it is strange that they are not even mentioned or implied. Surely anything which is intended to promote morality should include the concepts of compassion and forgiveness. Shouldn’t it?
Overall, it may be said that the Ten Commandments do just the opposite of what is recommended in an old song. They accentuate the negative and eliminate the positive!
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About the Book
Why do we cling so tenaciously to the symbols and stories and doctrines contained in religion? Even more importantly, why do we let ourselves be driven to extremes of anger and hate and even murder in their defense? No doubt fear is the strongest reason. But, surely that fear is just the legacy from the reaction of our ancient ancestors to the mysteries they could see but not understand. Many of those mysteries have long ago been clarified by our advancements in knowledge or have just disappeared, all without the help of religion. Should not our religious beliefs change accordingly? Cannot our fears be overcome by knowledge?
This book dares to question our so-called sacred beliefs. It holds up our doctrines to questions, not about their scientific or physical validity, but about their intrinsic failure to solve or justify or even explain the problems of suffering and pain and evil in this world. Many of our doctrines and the stories upon which they are based appear ineffective or even counterproductive when examined objectively. Maybe it’s time they were subjected to closer scrutiny. This book does that in ways which go beyond conventional religious criticism.
About the Author
The author was trained in the Christian faith and educated in the fields of engineering and mathematics. When the joy of seeking and learning new things that was experienced in those secular areas aroused curiosity about his religious training, he began to delve into the religious doctrines he had been taught in the hope of discovering new things and joys there. Instead, a long search into those doctrines revealed weaknesses which could not be explained. The weaknesses went beyond the conventional conflicts with science. They included irrational and even absurd incongruities which he had never seen addressed. As a result faith without reason became unacceptable, and he recoiled in shock and lapsed into agnosticism.