On Christmas Eve, while parked at Station One at the
beach, with the radio playing Unchained Melody and the sound of the surf
pounding on the shore, he held her face in his hands, looked her in the eyes,
leaned over and kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then his soft
lips caressed hers. “I love you; I want
you to be my wife”. Marie couldn’t
really believe her ears, she had wanted this so badly, so badly that she had
been afraid to hope for it, but this was real.
She looked at him and then kissed him back, kissed him with a kiss that
came from deep down inside of her; she could feel her whole body tremble.
“Is that a yes”? He asked.
“Well, yeah,” she laughed, and with that she kissed
him again.
Walt reached into his pocket, pulled out the small
box ad placed a diamond ring on her finger.
“I love you”. Walt whispered in her ear. “I never knew I could love anyone as much as
I love you. You are my queen”.
“I love you too.” She whispered back as she held him
tight against her. “I love you so
much”.
They kissed and the world stood still. No two people had ever been happier.
While driving home from the grocery one day Marie
looked around her. She looked at things
she had always taken for granted, things like the purple flowers of the
Wisteria running through the limbs of the ever present Pines, the large Oaks
heavily draped with Spanish Moss and gracefully hanging over the roadways, the
Magnolia trees with their sweet smelling white blossoms, the marsh grass barely
peeking out of the water at high tide.
She thought about the dull, deep sound of the boats blowing for the
bridge tender to open the bridge, of the pelicans perched on the remains of old
forgotten piers, and seagulls fighting in every fast food parking lot for
morsels of unwanted French fries; she also thought about the waves pounding on
the shores at the beach and all the sweet memories those things held for
her. She thought about all those things
and knew she would miss them, and tears rolled silently down her cheeks. In order to understand why someone would
resort to such drastic measures, why someone would leave everything they knew
and loved behind, one would have to have lived without heat for several
winters, eat oatmeal ninety-five percent of the time day in and day out, be
afraid to answer the phone or the door in fear of bill collectors, and have a
husband who didn’t appear to be interested in her, the children, or the
house. The mind can only take so
much. A rat trapped in a maze seeks a
way out.
Everyone thought they were happy, but be4hind closed
doors the marriage was falling apart.
Sam wasn’t the provider Marie thought he should be and he began to be a
little abusive.
“You don’t love me” Sam shouted, “You have never
loved me”.
“That’s not true, how can you say that”? Marie was
half crying and half shouting. She knew
he was right, she had never loved him, but she had tried. “I have tried--you can’t possibly know how
hard I have tried, you just don’t want to work. You have no interest in supporting this family. I have tried; God knows I have tried. I just can’t do it all by myself”.
Sam spun around and hit her; she almost fell to her
knees.
“Are you crazy”? she shouted as she tried to catch
herself.
“Yeah, I guess I am. Crazy to have stayed married to a woman who is still in love with
her past”! Sam sneered. ”Still in love with her ‘king’, well where is your
wonderful king now? I’ll tell you where
he is, he’s with someone else, he doesn’t want you. You’re a damn fool”!
“Oh! You are so unfair” Marie shot back. “You are so cruel!”
She had given the marriage all she had to give. She had really tried to make it work. Her deep dark secret was that she knew she
still had Walt in that small chamber of her heart tucked safely away for only
her to know about; still had Walt with her each time she had sex with Sam. But she had worked hard to not let Walt
interfere with her life with Sam. She
had had to pretend but she had pretended well, another reason for an academy
award. Sam was crazy. He just wanted an excuse to be a lousy
provider and a lousy abusing husband.
He was not going to blame this failing marriage entirely on her and he
surely wasn’t going to blame it on Walt.
How dare he!!