TEACH ME YOUR ATTITUDE

Nearing the millenium, Mom was incapacitated with sciatica and moved from the hospital emergency room into my family room for one month while she took strong painkillers and muscle relaxers waiting for the pain to subside.  My sister, Rita Claire, and brother-in-law, John, took Mom to the orthopedist and he ordered a MRI.  That became an ordeal.  I got Mom there in a wheelchair and, while signing her in for the MRI, I overheard the technician mockingly laugh with the office helper that he had to do a lumbar spine MRI on an 85 year old woman “and didn't that sound like fun”.  There was a counter and glass window in the way of me grabbing him by the throat.  Instead, I opened the glass window a tad and spoke in a tone loud enough for him (but too low for Mom) to hear, “You are speaking about my mother.  You would not think this is so funny if it were your mother in pain.”  He froze like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights.  I returned to Mom knowing I had him with a witness there.  My energy was focused on getting her through this test.  Shortly after Dr. Green started he came to me to say the test would be useless because Mom had a pessary (plastic device holding the bladder in place) obstructing the view of the spine.  He recommended having it removed by a gynecologist or the hospital and then the MRI would give the information we needed.  It was hours before we located her gynecologist. He was nice enough to come to the hospital on his day off to do this for her.  I returned several hours later to the MRI office and a different office shift was on.  She told me she had no time to do my mother’s test and that I would have to reschedule.  Dr. Green was in earshot and walked over to us and said, “I will do her test now.”  Needless to say I never reported the prior unkind incident. Mom said she was not up to going to her Senior Residence Christmas party that same day.  It was understandable that she was physically and emotionally exhausted.  Yet I felt she needed that party for the soul-enriching experience it would be for her.  Hey, I helplessly watched her suffer unbearable pain and, for that reason, would have to count that among the five most difficult days of my life. As we were driving home and she thanked me for guiding her through this day and if there was anything she could do for me.  “Wait, stop right there.  You know what you could do for me.  Let me drop you off at the Christmas party and pick you up two hours later.  Do it for me and for the friends who would like to spend time with you.  Life has enough knocks.  You completed a tough day today and need to celebrate.”  She went to the party and she had a great time.