Tank You and More
by
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Enola had as excellent vantage-point from her front porch. She could see all the way down the mountainside into the valley. She watched the progress of the car as it climbed up, higher and higher. Soon it was turning off the main road onto the dirt road that led to the small town and her house beyond. Not many people made it this high. No one was interested in what happened up here. People stopped in town and didn’t venture any farther. The last person to visit her was a woman from the government. She said she owed her money since her husband was dead. She had said it was to help widows with dysfunctional children. Enola invited her in, made her some herbed tea and talked all afternoon. By early evening Enola had the city woman relaxed, rocking in Enola’s chair on the porch, letting her take in the beauty of the mountains. Enola watched her from the doorway for a minute, picked up a hatchet and plunged it deep into the back of the woman’s head. Muttering all the time about folks interfering wit other folks and how dare she call her son dysfunctional! "Christian!" Enola bellowed. "Come here and help me, boy!" "Momma, why’d ya have to kill her? I kinda liked her. Sounded like she was trying to help." Christian lamented. "Stop that droolin’, Son! Ya know how I hate that!" Enola ordered. "Sorry, Momma." Christian wiped his mouth with his fore arm, leaving a shiny streak of spittle. "Son, we had to ki8ll her. She was meddlin’ in our business. Ya ever gone hungry since yer Daddy left? No, ya ain’t! And ya know why? It’s ‘cause we take care of our own! We use everything we can and fend fer ourselves!" Enola had a devils gleam in her eye, somewhere between evangelistic and possessed. "Why, that’s the only thing her Daddy did was show us how to eat good! I swear he made the best sausage I ever tasted! And look how fat them chickens got! Why, even them church ladies liked him!" "Momma! They didn’t know it was him!" Christian grabbed a dead leg, wiping his face on the ladies skirt. "Well, they ain’t never turned down nothin’ have they? And don’t mess up that dress. I might can use that!" "Yes Momma. You’re right." Christian responded. Enola grabbed the other dead leg and together they began dragging the body into the house.
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About the Book
Drawing on twenty years’ experience as a bartender, Nancy Preis creates strange, wonderful, and sometimes scary characters in her deviant short story collection, Tank You and More. If you’ve got an hour or a mere fifteen minutes, take a twisted vacation of the mind in the spirit of Stephen King and The Outer Limits. In “Tank You,” meet a friendly plumber who can’t wait to introduce his dirt-eating bacteria that can easily keep your bathroom spotless—along with everything else in the house. Meet Enola in “Country Fried;” she loves visitors, especially when they’re spicy and well done. If twisted romance is your forte, meet the paramours of “Love on a Fence Post.” You’ll come across some light-hearted mind trips in “Dave” and “The Ghost of Constance Fortunese.” However, even in her lighter moments, Preis still finds a way to make you uncomfortable. Her stories are pulled from real life and skewed to represent what is best, worst, and creepiest in us all. Take a trip to the dark side and be thankful you don’t live there.
About the Author
Nancy Preis attended Lake Sumter Community College in Florida where she discovered her talent for writing. Born in a suburb of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, she now resides on the Gulf Coast of Florida with her husband.